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A Transphobic Transsexual?

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A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby FreshGuy » Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:43 am

Hey, I was watching a music video earlier of Kim Petras who is a transsexual and I found it weird and creepy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_ghNx4JAFo

Basically I think I have an underlying level of internalised transphobia and maybe this is why I cannot accept my trans side.

Does anybody have any tips on how I can accept myself or how to reduce internalised transphobia?

ty
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby Ada » Thu Dec 12, 2013 9:24 pm

The video's creepy. She's sweet. :D Is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK75UB7BPeg the same for you?

The best way that I can think of is exposure. If you don't know trans people, haven't watched that many videos, if this is all new. Then it might be feeling "weird" just because it's unfamiliar. Making some trans friends could help "normalise" things for you. And given that that will take time, maybe try watching more videos in the meantime. Perhaps some video diaries, if anything like that interests you.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby FreshGuy » Thu Dec 12, 2013 9:43 pm

Ada wrote:The video's creepy. She's sweet. :D Is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK75UB7BPeg the same for you?

The best way that I can think of is exposure. If you don't know trans people, haven't watched that many videos, if this is all new. Then it might be feeling "weird" just because it's unfamiliar. Making some trans friends could help "normalise" things for you. And given that that will take time, maybe try watching more videos in the meantime. Perhaps some video diaries, if anything like that interests you.

Thank you for the advice :)

Yeah I do find that video quite weird and creepy haha but I guess exposure will help so thank you.
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby vertices » Sun Dec 15, 2013 2:51 am

I'm really transphobic tbh. I would never deny anyone rights or say mean things to them. I think people should be allowed to change their body and social presentation in any way they choose. And I would never judge an individual just on the basis that they were trans. Still, I just hate trans spaces and I hate being trans...

And exposure to trans people made it a LOT worse. I used to be way more open minded about it until I met and interacted with lots of trans people. I was met with a lot of jealousy over my appearance. Some people would put me on a pedestal and post on all my blogs pretending that they were just like me. People would lie about themselves to sound like a stereotype. Lie about their sexuality a LOT too. They would call themselves a straight woman while they had abandoned several ex wives and children. They would abuse and latch onto intersex issues without trying to understand them, abuse intersex people and create chaos in the few intersex spaces that exist. They would abuse lesbian spaces and demand to be accepted by lesbians. I have been sexually harassed by so many MTFs. One of them created a persona, fake boyfriends (they were really into women), fake family to earn sympathy, get close to me and stalked me. Several of them who were like 30 years older than me and were moderators on a big trans forum, and abused my emotional health problems to get close to me and start asking for sexual things--pictures, sex talk, etc. They would send me unsolicited gross pictures in gross lingerie.

By the way, this was not everyone, these trends were just SHOCKINGLY common. I got so freaking sick of it that I refuse to be exposed to most trans spaces.

I just have grown to hate the whole thing. Actually I hate gender. I think it's so stupid. It just keeps people apart and denies them the ability to be wholly themselves, and dismisses bad personality traits like they're acceptable in that gender.

Really, I refuse to call myself trans. I'm a boy who is living as a girl, looks and sounds just like one and has feminine preferences in interests and fashion and stuff. I'm not a girl or a woman and I never will be, nor should I have to be to be myself, but I can't help that I can't/don't care to/get uncomfortable trying to pass as a boy.
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby DesLock » Sat Oct 11, 2014 8:20 pm

Internalised transphobia within transgendered people is quite common, I believe. Unfortunately there is no advice I, or anyone for that matter can give you to reduce these thoughts or make them disappear. You feel how you feel. You dislike that you feel this way, but you do – it’s a part of you.
People don’t choose to be racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic etc. they just are and there is very little the people around them can do to ‘change their mind’.

My advice would be to think of yourself wholly as the gender you identity as ie you’re not a transman, you’re just a man. You’re a woman, not a transwoman. Concentrate on what you want, not what you wish you didn't have. It’s not great advice, but it’s the best that can be offered in such an unfair situation.
~Das leben ist eine fremdsprache, alle menschen sprechen es falsch aus~
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby SandyTG » Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:28 pm

When I first became aware that I was transgender the first thing that I did was look online for forums and joined them and then got to know the people by just going around the forums and posting about how I felt about it and how this has always been with me but I just have supressed it and that the only people that have problems with transgender people are the ones that don't understand it just like people that hate gays and what not, they are scared because they don't understand it and they assume that gay people are going to hit on them.

Transgender people are not trying to take over the world and trying to change males into females or females in males, we are dealing with our own issues and the outside world is not really thought about unless we are dressing for the first time in public and we are scared of what people will say or how they will react when in fact we should just feel strong that we have the courage to do things like that. Some people never deal with issues that can stir up the pot and they have boring lives, I am love that I am this way and I love that I can hopefully meet others that are the same way and that I can embrace who I really am supposed to be....a woman.
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby Forgottenpast » Wed Sep 30, 2015 2:47 pm

vertices wrote:I'm really transphobic tbh. I would never deny anyone rights or say mean things to them. I think people should be allowed to change their body and social presentation in any way they choose. And I would never judge an individual just on the basis that they were trans. Still, I just hate trans spaces and I hate being trans...

And exposure to trans people made it a LOT worse. I used to be way more open minded about it until I met and interacted with lots of trans people. I was met with a lot of jealousy over my appearance. Some people would put me on a pedestal and post on all my blogs pretending that they were just like me. People would lie about themselves to sound like a stereotype. Lie about their sexuality a LOT too. They would call themselves a straight woman while they had abandoned several ex wives and children. They would abuse and latch onto intersex issues without trying to understand them, abuse intersex people and create chaos in the few intersex spaces that exist. They would abuse lesbian spaces and demand to be accepted by lesbians. I have been sexually harassed by so many MTFs. One of them created a persona, fake boyfriends (they were really into women), fake family to earn sympathy, get close to me and stalked me. Several of them who were like 30 years older than me and were moderators on a big trans forum, and abused my emotional health problems to get close to me and start asking for sexual things--pictures, sex talk, etc. They would send me unsolicited gross pictures in gross lingerie.

By the way, this was not everyone, these trends were just SHOCKINGLY common. I got so freaking sick of it that I refuse to be exposed to most trans spaces.

I just have grown to hate the whole thing. Actually I hate gender. I think it's so stupid. It just keeps people apart and denies them the ability to be wholly themselves, and dismisses bad personality traits like they're acceptable in that gender.

Really, I refuse to call myself trans. I'm a boy who is living as a girl, looks and sounds just like one and has feminine preferences in interests and fashion and stuff. I'm not a girl or a woman and I never will be, nor should I have to be to be myself, but I can't help that I can't/don't care to/get uncomfortable trying to pass as a boy.


I know this is an old post, but I have to agree. I've never understood why so many transsexuals have a tendency to take flight into a fantasy life. I knew one who was pre-op and told me she had dated, and was even in relationships, with men that didn't know she was a transsexual. I found this odd considering she lived in a small town with her family and yet none of them gave her away as a biological male when she would invite these men over for Sunday dinner and to hang out. At first I thought that maybe she travelled quite a bit for a job and that was how she met them so they knew little about her home life and real life, but come to find out she rarely worked and, at that time, lived with her sister. I had the feeling she was trapped by her body, situation and circumstances and this was her way of dealing with it by making up stories. However, for all I know she could have been speaking the truth (we were only Email friends and I have never met her). As they say, truth can be stranger than fiction. All I knew is I wouldn't want to know her if she was lying about this nor if she was saying the truth, 'cat fishing' men. She was dishonest either way.

I've also knew the transsexuals that had been married for many years, fathered children, then later 'came out' and said they had always been heterosexual women and were now only attracted to men. Usually their ex's and children want nothing more to do with them either, so I guess that pans out. I've had the experience too with the bitter and angry tranny who came out later in life, had all the money to look nice, but still had problems at passing. On the other hand, I've never had much money and dress like a homeless person but was still passable. I think it pissed this person off that this was the case when we were out together, as if it were my fault people would gawk and stare at her. Incidentally, she always denied she had any problems at passing, instead she claimed people would stare because she was 'tall for a female' being 6'3". In some cases that may have been true, but I know in others this was a lie. As I've mentioned I never really understood why so many of them are deceptive like that as they don't come right out and say, "I'm a big fat liar because...." And if you dare to question them you are treated to a string of insults, mild or strong.

I do agree with this comment, though, many times having contact with other transsexuals can have more of a negative impact than a positive one.
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Re: A Transphobic Transsexual?

Postby FreshGuy » Fri Oct 16, 2015 12:07 pm

When I meet other trans people, I don't really feel like I relate to them.

I have different experiences to them and I have not "always known" Literally every trans person I have spoken to has said that they "always knew something" but I did not.

I enjoyed being seen as manly and as a man before this transsexualism started a few years ago.

I just need help, I dunno what I need.

I go to a gender counsellor once every 6 weeks and I go to support groups when I come.

I went to one where I had brought some female clothes with me and all they didwas basically criticise them saying they were wrong. I understand that they were just tryna help me but still it hurt and transsexuals always pull weird faces when I tell them that I haven't always known.

They say they wanna meet the "real me" but I dont even know who the real me is.

I JUST NEED HELP. I NEED SO MUCH HELP. HELP!!!
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