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BF with severe screaming tics - need advice

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BF with severe screaming tics - need advice

Postby Turtle84 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 8:09 pm

Hi!
I need some advice or support from anyone who has TS or anyone in a relationship with a TS person.

I've been with my bf for 3 years now, and currently living together. I've known all along that he has TS but over the years it has gotten worse. And I've had a hard time coping with it all this time so its been an off an on relationship, which of course has made him stressed and it leads to more tics. Anyway, he has different types of tics, grunting, mumbling, hitting himself, corporal tics of different sort and all of this doesnt bother me that much to be honest but he has an intense vocal tic that stresses me out so much I dont know how to deal with it.
He screams. I really mean screams, and hits walls and tables and doors. Out of nowhere, it's all really loud and sudden and he screams from the top of his lungs so that I get extremely scared and my ears hurt every time. This happens several times a day. And everytime I get so scared and stressed I feel my heart is jumping out of my chest and I feel my hearing is starting to get affected by this. We also live with my 4 year old daughter and I know that she thinks this is hard to deal with. She has told me and her father this.
I've tried to ask him to do things to relieve his stress. He also has OCD and ADHD. I've advised him to start working out, eating healthier, talking regularly to someone to vent his feelings. But nothing really happens. It's especially stressful when he is up late gaming on the computer or doing stuff while me and my daughter try to sleep. We wake up from him ticking several times a night.
I've tried ignoring it, tried calming him, gotten angry... I don't know what to do anymore! It is so stressful for me and there is no one helping us. His doctors dont see this, and to be honest, no one sees this since they dont live with him and he controls it around other people.
I love him and I want to be with him but many times I think that I will not be able to live like this. It is too much. And I dont want my daughter to be stressed either.
I know he can't help it but I still can't help but think that he could at least try to change his lifestyle to relieve stress and so on..
Right now I feel I have to, i dont know, set up boundaries.. tell him it's not ok to stay up by the computer when we need to sleep cause it worsens his tics. Or tell him it's not ok to go to bed at 2 in the morning for the same reason. Or force him to go on a walk every night for an hour, I dont know?
But I can't do that..right? ... feels like I have to be a mom setting up rules.. and i dont like that. But what should I do?

If anyone has any advice please...
Sorry for the long post but there's really no one I can talk to.
Turtle84
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