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Guys need your thoughts plz-Think I have peculiar tourettes

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Guys need your thoughts plz-Think I have peculiar tourettes

Postby bongobanger » Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:17 am

Guys basically theres a lot on my chest which I want to get off. I will get straight into it. Im 26 male. Theres maybe a bit to read but I've tried to structure it, your time is greatly appreciated.

Recently a lot has changed in my life, I started feeling depressed at work in the beginning of last year 2017 and so quit my job and moved back home, my depression seemed to get worse when around my family, my family has been through many rough patches btw and sometimes being around them isnt fun infact very debilitating. I know my mum has some conditions as well but has never explicitly told me, not sure if its even been diagnosed but it is clear to me.

I felt very distant from myself, angry, sad, lost etc. I was in a new job at this moment. I had a couple of noteworthy stressful negative experiences at my new work and at home. I noticed that after these I developed some sort of verbal outburst tendency in which I couldnt stop saying what I was thinking. One particular stressful moment pushed me over the edge and ever since then I have been unable to control my verbal outbursts. It was clear to me that the stressful situations also stimulated within me a very strong anger which probably assisted me going over the edge.

I have tried to self diagnose but my condition seems somewhat unique and maybe involves a nexus of different causes. So basically when I'm alone or engaged in a conversation I'm usually ok BUT if I'm around people and I'm not engaged in conversation, I feel like I have to respond to everything I hear. I know I'm responding but I have no control over what I say, and my words tend to be edgy, showing attitude, contaminated, or involve sex, they are random sometimes but sometimes I consciously do this if something really bad comes up in my mind which I know is very distasteful. Silence is even worse If theres people around because I feel some kind of anxiety and so just start babbling words.

Now another perspective of my condition is that I tend to be quite suspicious and in my mind I seem to doubt the integrity of everyone, and the words which I uncontrollably say for the major part of the time seem to be debasing to people and trying to uncover secrets which are probably left unsaid.

One of the most awkward things about it is that I either say things that are true, which is hard to swallow at the best of times, or incredibly vulgar crude things. They're not just random tics which I can say oh I've got tourettes, it actually sounds like I'm saying them with some kind of intention or motive behind it but I'm not, I just feel like a sudden pressure is created in my head and its just released in strong ways.

Because i have moved to a different town I dont have any friends around me so dont socialise too much, obviously new social interactions are awkward. Been in touch with my GP and looking forward to an assessment in a few days but just wanted anyones thoughts on this?

Much love to you all
Thanks
bongobanger
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