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Should I tell my colleague with TS I fancy him?

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Should I tell my colleague with TS I fancy him?

Postby pjsoles » Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:35 pm

I recently noticed a colleague I'm getting close to has TS. To be honest, I didn't notice for months, and I just thought his tics were cute. I've been working very close to him for months and never really gave it much of a thought, until the other day. I could notice he was a bit nervous and started realising he could not really avoid the tics. It's not like he was struggling a lot or anything like that, I just noticed he was nervous because he was alone with me, and he was doing all those things I found cute all the time for no apparent reason. I have another friend with TS, so something clicked on my brain and suddenly everything became clear.

For the past two months or so I have been developing a bit of a crush on my colleague. At first I tried to ignore it hoping it'd wear off, because I'm in a very long term relationship with my boyfriend. I've never liked any other man since we are together, and we have the normal problems couples have, although lately we have had a few arguments which makes us consider breaking up, but I think it's just a rough patch. In the end, nothing too serious has happened that'd make me really consider leaving him. I love my boyfriend.

However since I met my colleague and we starting getting closer, I couldn't avoid falling for him. He's the sweetest person I've ever met, he's smart and fun, and I really love being around him. I hate the weekends and spend a lot of time during them thinking about him, looking forward to go to the office on Monday.

This is all very wrong of me, firstly because of my boyfriend, and then because mixing work and love can become very messy.

I don't know if my colleague fancies me. I think he does, I've been noticing for a while, and the other day it became more clear. I would like to have an honest conversation with him about this, but now that I know about his TS, I feel like I can make him suffer too much and make him very unhappy at work if we can't develop our relationship any further. I don't want to make his life any harder, but at the same time I think it'd be good for him to know that I fancy him.

I was gaining an awesome new friend, even considering to leave my boyfriend to allow myself to explore a relationship with him, and now I don't know what to do, because I really don't want to hurt him and it's likely things don't work out.

I feel very bad about this, and I don't want to hurt anyone. In the meanwhile I'm hurting myself with all this torture.

Sorry for the long post. I haven't been able to tell this to anyone, so this is the first time that I collect my thoughts and put them together somewhere.

Please, advice!
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Re: Should I tell my colleague with TS I fancy him?

Postby McGimp » Wed Apr 04, 2018 6:39 pm

Not sure what his TS has to do with it. He’s a normal person capable of every human emotion and adult cognitive function. The only question you need to ask yourself is if you are ethically comfortable with inter office romance and the possible fallout if things turn out badly. It’s a risk, but isn’t any more or less risky because he has TS. Now, if you’re confusing TS with another disorder that impairs his cognitive function, there may be ethical dilemmas, but that’s for you to figure out in that event. Otherwise, I say get it, girl!
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Re: Should I tell my colleague with TS I fancy him?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Wed Apr 04, 2018 8:50 pm

as a general rule of thumb, leaving one relationship for another isn't a good idea. if the other doesn't work out, you're on your own. you should only leave a relationship to leave that relationship, whether or not there's another around the corner.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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