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Very Concerned About Faking

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Very Concerned About Faking

Postby MozHat » Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:10 am

Hi! I haven't posted here before, but there was an issue that's been bothering me. Recently, I've been learning more about different types of mental illness, for a school project. One thing I was recently focusing on was Tourette's Syndrome, people's experiences with it, and how it happens. I have had tics in the past along with my own mental illness issues, but I have never been diagnosed with Tourette's.

I've found that, the more I read about it, the more the old tics start to bother me again, along with new ones sometimes showing up, which confused me a lot. I'm really concerned that, in some way, I'm doing it in some purposeful way, that I'm somehow romanticizing it. Maybe psychosomatic in some way?

I thought it would be good to get opinions from people who have dealt with this instead of just like symptom checking on WebMD. I do have a psychiatrist I could speak with if it legitimately becomes a problem. Thanks so so much! :wink:
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Re: Very Concerned About Faking

Postby plank » Fri Oct 27, 2017 7:34 pm

I was diagnosed with tourette's as a kid, but it's since mostly faded. However, reading about other people's stories, or really even just seeing the words "Tourette's Syndrome" are enough to trigger a few tics in me. I'd say it's a pretty normal reaction :)
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Re: Very Concerned About Faking

Postby breezewriter » Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:29 pm

Hi MozHat,

I actually wrote you a pretty long response a couple days ago, but I lost the whole thing because there apparently is an "inactivity" timeout if you aren't clicking buttons or refreshing the page.

I think all the information I had in the last post was very valid and potentially helpful, but I don't want to butcher it by trying to write the whole thing again. Not to mention, it was incredibly stressful/triggering.

To sum up what I had intended to say, I navigated to this particular thread because I have had the same questions. A couple years back I had a psychotic episode. During that time I was flooded with impulsive ideas, racing, dissociated thoughts, disturbing images, and constant delusions. I developed a habit of squinting and rapidly shaking my head. I guess it was in an attempt to get the thoughts out. As things got worse, and I constantly felt uncomfortable (sort of like my skin was crawling) it evolved into a series of actions. I would squint, shake my head, curl my fists, punch my leg or the opposite hand, and press my forefinger knuckles into my eyes. Then I would rock and bounce my leg. It was the only way to get the slightest relief.

At first this might have been called a habit, but it quickly went from a voluntary action, to a somewhat involuntary one, a tic. I couldn't help it. It happened any time I started to feel uncomfortable. I get terrible migraines that I have to take injections for so when I was around my friends I would just feign a headache because I was embarrassed that I couldn't help myself from acting like I was crazy. Things are better now, but to this day some triggers (like something on TV) instantly make me, at very least, squint, shake my head, and squirm.

I guess you could call that psychosomatic in a sense. I think what definitely puts us in a similar boat is that researching it or reading about it, or even talking about it like I'm doing now, makes it worse. I can guarantee that for the rest of the day, the slightest thought will make me wince and shake my head. The important thing to note is that this is not on purpose any more. I've tried to stop and I can't help it. But it helps relieve that intense pressure, so I guess it's not all bad.

Anyway, this turned out longer than I thought, but here's my take. If you have questions don't hesitate to ask. You can PM me too.

-Breeze
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