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Your advice for therapy for my friend?

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Your advice for therapy for my friend?

Postby dellai » Fri Oct 31, 2014 2:03 pm

Dear All,

As I'm not a therapist or related to any field in psychology but worried about a dear female friend of mine, I came to this board to get some decent advice about which therapy this woman could benefit from. Any advice is very welcome, especially if you're a trained professional in the field.

My relation to this woman is a long distance relationship and I would really like her to work on herself and be able to cope with issues she is dealing with at the moment. I live in Europe and she lives in another country which I don't want to reveal yet because of privacy reasons.

Situation overview:

This woman is 30 years old and she had to deal with a lot of events happening to her and her family in a short amount of time. The following events happen the past few years:

    - She has 5 children (3 daughters and 2 sons).

    - Always thought she would be with her husband for the rest of her life.

    - Her husband used to be a man who kept her in the dark about everything (finances/agenda/whereabouts/etc.)

    - The husband broke up with her 2 years ago since he told her he didn't love her anymore. He found himself to be more attracted to women who are more outgoing and overall happy.

    - Husband didn't make enough each month as he didn't want to change his fun job but was still responsible to pay for the children.

    _ Husband took up a job which requires him to work for 6 weeks abroad and be back for 6 weeks on and off.

    - She is very introvert and by herself and since the husband is out of sight she has to deal with the children all herself without almost anyone around to have the children from time to time so she can be on herself and recharge.

    - Her parents are divorced and her father is remarried but the mother lives alone. They both live quite a long distance from her.

    - She is brought up very religious but has doubts in everything and thus also in her religion.

    - Her husband couldn't pay for a home and because of this she was living for 6 weeks with her ex husbands family and when her ex husband came home from abroad, she had to deal with him in the home as well.

    - His family threw her and the 5 children out and since then she lives in a shelter like home (Not really a shelter but she still has to deal with a lot of other people).

    - Since they live away from the ex husband and the family, her oldest daughter told her that her ex husband was molesting her (sexually).

    - The ex husband is now in jail and so he isn't able to pay for them.

    - He doesn't know where they live.

    - The detective who is dealing with this case is telling her that her ex husband is a classic sociopath.

    - Because of this she doesn't trust anyone anymore. She doesn't even trust herself.

    - She has guilt feelings and doesn't trust anyone to talk them through. These guilt feelings are because of things she did in the past (she didn't become specific in this as she doesn't trust me as well) and because she didn't see things happening in her own house (the ex husband child molestation).

    - I don't know if it is any help but she is tested being an INTJ in the MBTI personality inventory.

What she doesn't want:

    - She doesn't want to take medications in any form.

My initial thought of therapy:

RET therapy (rational emotional therapy) as she want to deal with her logical side (but maybe she should really work on her emotional side)

Regards, a very concerned friend.
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Re: Your advice for therapy for my friend?

Postby DesLock » Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:30 pm

Medication isn’t necessary. It sounds like your friend is simply overwhelmed with her situation. I think that her being a severe introvert with no means to recharge will be seriously racking on her mind, on top of everything else. Nothing quite eats away at a person like guilt, the fact that she has all these negative emotions swirling about in her head is good reason for you to be concerned.

RET therapy sounds like an alright place to start, but if she is so overwhelmed she may be needing a much longer termed rest. You’ll need to try and earn her trust if you wish to help her, so I suppose therapy would be the best place to start.
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