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This is my story

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This is my story

Postby benoticed » Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:23 pm

so lately I've been skipping a lot of classes. we have this policy of being allowed able to not attend 3 classes but after that we may be kicked off the course (i think this sucks we even have students protesting about this) I am studying a combined subject in university so each subject has 3 days each. Then we have to have this other lecture called study skills which i still don't know how many days we can skip because I've already skipped 4-5 lessons but unlike the combined course i didn't get a warning...and the point is I'm taking advantage of it. That i agree i am indeed lazy because the lecture is only 3 hours and we certainly do not have any crits in this subject so its no excuse.

However for my combined subject I'm doing, it seems that I'm more under pressure. Firstly i would like to explain why i feel I'm under pressure. Well you see from october to december 2010 i suffered from my first psychotic episode and anxiety when i was in college (UK) and was meant to go to university in september 2011. However due to my mental health I had to take a gap year to recover and become stable. During my gap year i spent a lot of time at home and it wasn't like your typical gap year which most people would spend either working or doing something with their career.

My gap year was merely just spent being at home doing pretty much...nothing. Just waking up going on the computer and at the worst cases not even bothered to do the simplest tasks like taking a bath daily and sometimes even for days. And i guess this pretty much carried on for months. My parents started getting aware of this 5 months in and they tried to get me to do something instead of living this way but i guess i was just used to it that it became a habit...so i carried on. At first i thought they were bothering me so i continued. I knew to myself that my life currently wasn't what i called 'Great' and i always used to say to everyone "it will all change when i go to university. i will be more outgoing etc" then couple of months down it it was finally time to go to university after a whole year of this way of life.

Started university in september 2012 just a couple of months ago. I have to admit university would be exciting anyway for the majority of people so it really opened me up to a way of life i had never lived. For example I was living away from home for the first time and had to do my own budgeting. It was all good and i was beginning to see things in me i had never thought i was.

Nevertheless the rush i got at the beginning is starting to go away and i guess my habits are coming back to haunt me. I started skipping classes. I started not wanting to go out unless i absolutely have to. And this is really bothering me because i know I'm paying a lot of money to get these lectures and to do my studies and they are in the profession i WANT to be involved in. And another thing bothering me is that i have noticed how working pace has slowed down (which I'm guessing was because of my gap year) and I'm running behind on my work. usually yes i am a person to leaves it to last minute however i have taken that to the next level and now i go as far as skipping classes when i know i haven't done something because i know we'll be having a crit about the work on that day.

I absolutely love the subjects I'm studying. i enjoy the lectures and learning about the things. Its just when it comes to producing the work. i know i have slowed down on working at my own pace due to my gap year and I'm really hoping this goes away once i get the grip on working at the right pace.

but currently i am struggling and i need the help on how to cope with this now. does anyone know who i can talk to this about? a psychiatrist? my mental health doctor? therapy? counselling?

i would rather i get help about this and find out how to better myself in a formal way than just be told by people I'm lazy and need to get a grip.
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Re: This is my story

Postby Cheze2 » Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:26 pm

I wouldn't say that you're lazy. It seems to me that you don't see the benefit of going to class and getting your work done. Perhaps sit down and list out why college is important to YOU. Not to someone else, but to you alone. What do YOU want to get out of it? You can know that you're spending tons of money on it, but if that isn't something that is important to you, then obviously that's not going to be a motivating factor. It may be a difficult thing to do. You'll have to really take some time and think about it. Once you're done take this list and post it somewhere that you can easily see it. When you're having difficulty getting out the door, look at the list and remember the reasons why it's important for you to go.

Perhaps seeing a counselor would be a good idea if you're having difficulty figuring out these types of things, but a counselor isn't going to be able to make you go to class. That has to come from you, and what drives you.
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