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Dealing with trauma

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Dealing with trauma

Postby Chels91 » Sun Nov 21, 2021 9:24 pm

So my dad died a couple months ago. Don’t offer any condolences because he molested me for the first 20 years of my life and no one else knew. I felt nothing for him when he died, but after he did, all of the memories of what he did to me that were suppressed for years suddenly resurfaced and I’ve been finally opening up about it. Online, that is. I have not told anyone I know personally yet and I’m not sure if I should. At least not now.

I’m debating whether I should seek counseling before I tell my family anything. What to do next is more difficult for me to talk about than remembering every graphic detail of what I went through. I’m not sure why, but I’m thinking that might be a sign that I’m not even ready to take the next step. That itself might be all the more reason why I should take counseling first and ASAP!

But then I feel I should at least tell someone in my family about it by now. I can’t stand the idea of him getting away with what he did even in death and I feel like if I’m going to tell, I have to do it soon while I can still say he died recently. I know I shouldn’t, but I feel so pressured. Like this the perfect opportunity for me to speak out and I’m letting it slip by. But again, am I even ready?

I’m sure you can gather how overwhelming this is for me to think about. One thing is certain though: I feel I need to make a decision on where to go from here and I need to do it soon, so I’m asking for advice. What should I do?
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Re: Dealing with trauma

Postby Snaga » Mon Nov 22, 2021 5:56 am

I think some counseling would be a very good idea. It will also prepare you for telling anyone in your family about it. It's one thing to talk online, in an anonymous forum. Quite another to tell another human being, face to face- even one whose job it is to hear such things. And I would imagine, quite another thing entirely to tell someone who is emotionally invested in it, like family- and who is not being paid to be a sympathetic listener.

I suppose I can understand the feeling of urgency, but I question if it's really necessary to be so fast with it?

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