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Gut feelings and therapists

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Gut feelings and therapists

Postby justherefornow » Wed Jul 04, 2018 1:48 am

I saw a new therapist today for the first time. He said mostly things I wanted to hear, though he did give me a bit of an off vibe at some points. I'll go into more detail below, since I know anyone reading this is going to want context to understand better.

First of all, it is difficult for me to find people I feel "understand" me on some kind of non-surface level. In the past, with previous therapists, I have gotten the sense that they have kind of dismissed my issues in a way that tells me they think they have all the answers and get frustrated with me when I don't conform. The therapist I met today seemed to pick up on a lot of things. He seemed very good at reading my nonverbal cues. He managed to put me at ease for the most part. But he said a few things that made me wary.

He told me that looking at him would be looking like a mirror (this was a bit unsettling, and I noticed very shortly after that he was trying to mirror something he seemed to have picked up on - this guy is smart, which is why I'm questioning this at all (I really want a smart therapist)). He made some comments about how some things were more "interesting" in a way that gave me this vibe like he's into the thrill of dealing with people who are messed up out of curiosity. On some level I can relate to being intrigued by people who are weird - I feel this way often because I myself am weird, and I think I can relate to weird people more easily. He also mentioned in passing that he was popular, and when we talked about next week's appointment, he noticed that they had slightly double booked him, but he knew the other patient for a long time and would just have her wait.

He did say a lot of things that made me think ... this therapist might actually be able to see me for who I am, truly, and maybe help me get to the bottom of things. This is his profession, and if he does just do this because of some morbid curiosity, then he wouldn't want to risk his profession by outright causing damage to my life. But I am still worried a little bit... even if he were just curious and managed to convince himself that it's okay to do what he does as long as he helps people... I don't know. I can tell you right now that I'll never feel totally comfortable opening up to this person, but if he can see through me... he might be able to help me anyway.

I was thinking about something... a series of tests. I am not someone who "tests" people in general, but I thought this might be a good way to go about it. Stuff like disagreeing with what he says, or interrupting him... his reactions to those kinds of things might tell me if he's really in this to help me or not. Do you guys agree? Any thoughts at all? If you *do* think the "test" method (no harm intended whatsoever, btw) is the right way to go about it, how would you go about it?

Anyway, any insight, experiences, thoughts, whatever, all appreciated. Even if you want to tell me I'm an idiot for even thinking of "testing" him. Thanks in advance.
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Re: Gut feelings and therapists

Postby Justddrown » Fri Dec 14, 2018 1:21 am

That’s a weird therapist to make that statement. Just make sure you’re getting a proper therapist and not a friend. That’ll waste a lot of money on sessions. My biggest apprehension about seeing is a therapist is feeling comfortable and taking a genuine interest and somehow possessing the ability to help me make any real progress. Also, I don’t want a therapist just to “feel good” for a couple of hours. So, I have a lot of criteria to meet so I don’t do therapy. I would but that’s a lot of appts just for it to maybe work out.
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