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Am I just not caring anymore?

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Am I just not caring anymore?

Postby m1j994 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:39 am

Hi so this is my first post on these forums and usually whenever I've done something like this it would be on Yahoo Answers. I did post this question on Yahoo Answers but I wasn't expecting to get an answer, most of the time I have but anyways I figured I'd find some place like this and see if I could get some answers.

I'm not sure if this is even a problem at all, I tell myself it's not but I've just been thinking about it for awhile.

Anyways I've realized that I just don't seem to care about most things going on anymore, whether or not it affects me. Here's just a few examples.

Whenever I'm driving and I nearly get into an accident (this has happened a few times over the past few years and no I'm not a bad driver) I just don't seem to care or it's like I'm not mentally there and I just keep on driving even if I've almost gotten hit. And even if someone is with me in the car and they panicked for a few seconds then complain even if it wasn't my fault we almost got hit I just wonder why they're so emotional about this. I just think we didn't get hit so that's good enough for me now lets move on. Maybe I'm just use to the way people drive around where I live so much that doesn't even bother me.

Sometimes when I'm doing dishes at home or at work I don't even realize that I have the water turned on all the way to as hot as it can get at first but when I'm done my fingers all the way to my wrists are light red but I'm not in any pain. The skin looks normal after a few minutes anyways but I figure I shouldn't do it yet I let it happen anyways. Maybe it's because I'm thinking about so many things while I'm doing the dishes that I don't even let what my body is feeling get to me?

Video games are my bad hobby since it just takes way too much of my time and the day can be gone pretty quickly. Sometimes at crucial times in these games when I know what I need to do for success something in my head tells me not do that, as if I want to see that failure. And these things usually just take a little bit more effort but I just chose not to, then I'm angry at myself for about a minute or two. I might just blame something self even though it was all my fault.

Whenever I hear " I love you " from a family member I just say "sure" or "ok" , I'm not even sure how I feel when they say that they love me. Half of me is suspicious thinking that they'll want something later(most of the time they don't) and the other half of me dismisses it completely. It's pretty much the same thing when someone gives me a good compliment about something that I did.

When I learned my biological father died my Mom was crying, it wasn't good timing for her especially since she got the news after coming back home from work. It was through a letter through some agency telling her that they were sorry for your loss and we had no contact with him or the family he had settled down with so we had no idea how he passed away. I didn't cry about it nor did I think about it, I had somewhat of a relationship with him. They divorced when I was about a month old but later on during my childhood I did get to visit him and stay with him for a few days or a week. I don't remember why but after elementary school my Mom didn't really keep in contact with him so I wasn't able to really see him but that didn't bother me. Still I don't think about him, and I never felt sad about his death. I figure it would "normal" to be sad about it.

I still laugh and I still get angry. Most days I'm not happy with how stuck I am but that's something else that I can handle.

My life is calm and I don't rightfully have anything to complain about, I consider most first world problems inconveniences. I keep to myself and don't really bother anyone. But like I said I've been thinking about this lately for awhile, I don't mind not really being as emotional as everyone around me seems to get easily. Should I just not bother thinking about this and keep going for however long I'll live?
m1j994
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