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Going to a therapist - can't make the first step

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Going to a therapist - can't make the first step

Postby LemonCake » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:30 am

Hey everyone..

I'm 18 and I'm a freshman studying Medicine.
I moved out of my parents' apartment about a month ago. I'd like to see a therapist in order to discuss a couple of things about... me, because I feel different from other people. Different in a way that makes me look naive and dumb, easy to be fooled. I always feel like I'm on a ride on an emotional rollercoaster. And not only that.

One year ago, I asked my father to see a therapist. He was curious about my reasons for doing that, but I told him nothing. He accepted that. So I went to see this woman.. but I couldn't open up. I only sat on a chair for one hour without being able to tell her anything. She asked me a few questions, I answered them, but didn't feel like saying parts of my past. She gave me a list to complete with my qualities and weaknesses. And her phone number, to call her again. But of course, I never called for another appointment.
I'd like to see a therapist again, but I'm afraid of it. I am 300km away from home and I don't know whether I can afford going to a therapist or not. I'm afraid of telling my father about it, too. It's been getting worse lately and I feel hopeless.

Also, I take a Health Psychology course this semester. I was about to be late for it, I almost fell on my face running. And my teacher (who has Psychology and Psychiatry studies) saw all of it. I arrived just on time. I was happy because one of my colleagues smiled at me for bringing her coffee. Maybe a bit too happy, because it always seems I feel emotions more deeply than others. I was happy during the first half of the course, but my colleague started to annoy me and I was about to slap her. To cap it all, I managed to drop all her coffee on her and my notes. After the course has finished, my teacher gave me some thoughtful looks while I was trying to help my colleague out of shame. I'm afraid that she realized that I'm not the most normal person in this world. I'd like to talk to her about that, but the idea of talking to such a person scares me. I never fully trust people (or I try not to), so I don't know why I should trust her. I know that this little story might be irrelevant.. but there's a lot more to be told.

Is there any alternative way of getting help from a therapist? I feel that I won't be able to maintain my sanity for long.

And is there any topic on this forum where I can write about things I have dealt or still deal with?

Sorry for any mistakes that make my post difficult to read (not a native speaker of English).

Thanks,
LemonCake
LemonCake
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