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If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

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If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby nd77 » Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:45 pm

Hi to anyone who is reading this. Do you realise there doesn't seem to be many forums relating to "parents with a mental illness". Oh my god if it's not bad enough to have a psych problem we have to throw kids into the mix too! Or like me the diagnosis came after the children were born. Little princess is 4 and Jumping Jack Flash is 2.5. Believe me they fit their description. They are fantastic kids but little miss is full of attitude and I swear born without ears. Master mischeif just copies whatever little miss does. And they just don't know how to be quiet. Talk talk talk talk talk ..... seriously. Oh my god I love them so much. So why am I like Jekyll & Hyde when I am with them. I can see it happening but I cannot stop it. Little miss gets it though to a certain extent - I've always said that mummy gets sick every now and then and this is part of it but my god the poor little blossoms deserve a better mummy than me. And then the guilt starts and makes it all that much worse. And no sleep. No sleep. I love them. Yep. I love them. But they exhaust me. I love them.
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Re: If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby Butterfly Faerie » Fri Jul 24, 2009 3:14 pm

There aren't enough forums you are right...

Do your children understand that sometimes mommy doesn't feel so good at times?

What were you diagnosed with if you don't mind me asking?


You are not a bad mom because you deal with mental health problems, they see you as their mom who they love and know you love them no matter how the day goes. Even parents without anything like this goes through those types of days.


4 year olds can definitely give attitudes lol. My niece is 3 and she starts too, she's the bully compared to her older sister who is 9! Kids are talkers that's for sure, they can talk about anything and ask multiple questions... maybe when they become too much you can simply get them to do to do a project for you, like draw you a picture, or send them on a mission to find something particular for you?

Don't feel guilty nd77, all parents feel like this from time to time I think....
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Re: If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby nd77 » Sun Jul 26, 2009 8:20 am

Hi butterfly faerie,
My diagnosis is BP type 2 and generalized anxiety. I think I am still dealing with my diagnosis to a certain extent too and how to manage it. I do tell the kids when I'm not having a good day. My daughter is really good a reading my face now. When I had antenatal depression with my son she was only about 16 months old. I would be laying on the couch all fat and miserable and she would do anything to cheer me up, bring me my water bottle and things like that. They are beautiful children and by no means unhappy so I should remember that during one of my moods. But at that time I usually feel like they would be better off without me. Today I don't feel like that though. At the moment I am watching them play bucking horses and splitting their sides with laughter. I've done something right if they're laughing aren't I.
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Re: If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby Squeekerz » Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:54 am

You definitely are doing a good job if they aren't miserable and hiding in corners, withering away. It sucked that when my son was born, the social worker told me that it was her job to call child services because I slept for 8 hours straight in the hospital and am diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and also showed strong signs of post-partem. She told me that they probably wouldn't follow up on it though, but it still bothered me.

I'm extremely lucky with my son. I have been blessed with people that are happy to watch him when I need a break... which I admit is a bit too much sometimes. I believe I would be fine even if they didn't watch him, but I would most likely steadily decline in mood until I was much like I was after he was born. I'd smile and play with him while he was awake, but I'd cry as he slept... it was awful.

It's good that you've told them that there's something going on with you instead of trying to hide it. I'm sure with proper warning and explanation there will be less of a chance that things will turn out badly. You describe them as joyous children, and you are definitely to thank for that. :D Never forget that they love their mommy, no matter what. (My mother is always expressing concern that my son is more attached to her than he is me, but I don't worry because he yells "mommy" over and over when he can't see me, and at this exact moment he has his arm wrapped around mine as he's sleeping next to me.) Your children definitely wouldn't be better off if you were gone. They would be lost without you, I'm quite sure. :)
Borderline Personality Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Major Depressive Disorder
Mood Disorder NOS




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Re: If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby Puddle » Tue Nov 27, 2012 5:51 pm

This is just one little idea, but it helped me. Many parents give their children "time out" when they misbehave... well, when you are close to losing your temper, declare out loud that YOU need a time-out. Then depart the scene for a few minutes (to the extent the children's safety permits). This changes the time-out concept from punishment to a self-management technique that hopefully they will pick up on and maybe even use themselves.

Having more help is good, but we can't always have help when we need it, so... make it clear to the children that you have your needs and you are going to step away when you need to. Sometimes it could be because of their antics, other times it might have nothing to do with them, but either way you'll be teaching them that it is natural for people to get stressed and there are things we can do to help ourselves at such times.
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Re: If anyone is keen to talk about this please reply

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Fri May 03, 2013 9:29 am

My personal opinion is children are blameless for their behaviours until they reach the age of reason (differs in different cultures and religions.) Until then though they simply reflect parents'. So unruly children have parents who have made such behaviours possible with ineffective discipline and other issues.

"Never fault a child for being childish." - Me.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
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