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How has your life or your family been affected?

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How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby gillmaka » Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:13 pm

Hello Forum,

I am a college student writing a college research paper based on events in my life that have currently affected me and my family. My brother has been dealing with drug use, self mutilation, and depression for several years. He is seventeen years old. After going to my family and telling them that he was having suicidal thoughts, he was taken to the hospital for treatment. He was placed in a psychiatric ward, and was given the diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder. He was released after a week. Two months later, he was taken back to the hospital since his medicines were not helping his "voices", which he now says is simply his inner dialogue and doctors have removed his schizophrenic status.

This is a topic that I am struggling with. My family is currently in a very private state, and don't want to talk about it, nor do they want me to write this paper.

My question to all of you is, how has a schizophrenic diagnosis affected you or your loved ones? Or if you are a loved one, how has it affected your family? Do you lead your life just like what is considered "the norm", or do you feel that your/your loved one's diagnosis absolutely rocked your family's core? Was you/your loved one given a misdiagnosis or misdiagnosed multiple times?

As a note, I will be using responses in my research essay, but will not be including any sort of information that could identify you. I am not interested in personal information, simply your stories or observations relevant to your own personal experience.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby chaya449 » Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:18 pm

Misdiagnosed many times.Hit my head when mom fell asleep at the wheel.Took 3 years to get epilepsy diagnosis and meds.Still have seizures sometimes.Classified developementally disabled but unable to get services thru Calif Regional Center on D.D.I am a simple minded person who gets overwelmed by multi tasks.Have only 6 grade education since TBI happened at age 13.Up until I was in 30's I was still being told I had "dual diagnoses".I need to stay away from chaos.My family does not care.They don't share their feelings only behaviors.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby Onebravegirl » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:51 pm

The tragedy to family members happens when they ignore the validity of the illness. If they see themselves somehow removed and separate from a loved one who is suffering, they ignore a persons real turmoil and absolute agony of an socially unaccepted illness. Families that ignore such ones add to the suffering (and possibly are partially responsible for the said illness) and further burden the weak, with family shame. The shame truly lies in their own laps. SHAME suffocates healing.
MENTAL ILLNESS IS IN NO WAY DIFFERENT THAN CANCER OR ANY OTHER PHYSICAL ILLNESS.
Would family members ever say "my family is shamed and shattered because my son/daughter has cancer". ? .
The true factor involved is ignorance. Ignorance of all that really happens to the sufferer of schizophrenia or any other mental diagnosis.
People gobble up pity and support when a family member has cancer. Every one gets to be noble and heroic. RIGHTFULLY, it is a horrible disease.
But so is each and every Mental Illness.
Here in lies the rub, one is socially acceptable the other is not. YET.
One
Two men looked through bars. One saw Mud, the other saw Stars.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby aamyjackson84 » Wed Sep 08, 2010 3:16 pm

Mostly life affected by
1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don't care?
3. Do you feel nobody really loves you or cares what happens to you?
4. Do you tell lies to cover up for some one else's drinking or what's happening in your home?
5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
Edited by Chucky
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby benedictus57 » Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:19 pm

on brave girl wrote:The tragedy to family members happens when they ignore the validity of the illness. If they see themselves somehow removed and separate from a loved one who is suffering, they ignore a persons real turmoil and absolute agony of an socially unaccepted illness. Families that ignore such ones add to the suffering (and possibly are partially responsible for the said illness) and further burden the weak, with family shame. The shame truly lies in their own laps. SHAME suffocates healing.
MENTAL ILLNESS IS IN NO WAY DIFFERENT THAN CANCER OR ANY OTHER PHYSICAL ILLNESS.
Would family members ever say "my family is shamed and shattered because my son/daughter has cancer". ? .
The true factor involved is ignorance. Ignorance of all that really happens to the sufferer of schizophrenia or any other mental diagnosis.
People gobble up pity and support when a family member has cancer. Every one gets to be noble and heroic. RIGHTFULLY, it is a horrible disease.
But so is each and every Mental Illness.
Here in lies the rub, one is socially acceptable the other is not. YET.
One



Beautifully expressed One.

Aside from my own Mental Illness due to the stigma of Gang Rape and living with terminal Pancreatic Cancer and Chemo treatments.

I recall my family and I taking my beloved father several times in a specially designed motorized wheelchair to a large shopping mall in my city. In the past in late November, 1996 he had suffered a tragic fall in my church that left him completely paralyzed unable to breath without a ventilator. Compassionate loving professional Nurses in our home would always accompany him whether at home or during outings. Due to the fact that he required a specially fitted ventilator and oxygen tanks strapped to the back of his wheelchair.
Once we entered the Mall a walked throughout, numerous people would gawk at him.

I don't believe it had anything to do with them being genuinely ignorant, as it was to express in someways shock and astonishment, and disbelief thinking the possible fear within themselves of ever being faced in such a predicament.

In a number of ways my father's suffering showed itself externally. But only few that were close and lovingly concerned could see not only his physical pain, but even the hidden profound psychological pain in his heart that he very rarely complained of.

And then too my quadriplegic father could not talk due to the tracheal airway tube below his vocal cords attached to a ventilator at all times. My family learned to lip-read as my father survived for eleven difficult years in a makeshift Mini-Hospital in our split-level home, with his beloved family and loving caring nurses who took the greatest care of him until he died December 20th, 2007.

My youngest brother Dan now 42 was officially diagnosed with A.L.S. ("Lou Gehrig's Disease") one year after my father's tragic accident. He is married with children and a special American wife who suffers with the worst diagnosed type of Bi-Polar disease. I can remember a few days before my father died and my brother Dan close to my father's bedside. He said; Dad your my Hero; and I will offer my sufferings to God as you have. I'm often reminiscent of this often seeing my own shortfalls, fears, and sometimes a lack of hope.

Nothing bitter inside but I get this teary-eyed lump in my throat at times. My father and my youngest brother are my Hero's too, which helps me to press on while doing my best to stay away from pity-parties in my own sufferings.

Another sister and brother who have both suffered mini-strokes and hospitalized in the past.
A beloved mother who is terminally ill with cancer, diabetes, a heart condition and requires kidney dialysis three times a week.

Despite everything; difficult times and all, I get this humble feeling something far greater than I and the entire seen and unseen Universe is watching over me and my family. ("God") if you like. But I do feel I have responsibilities in life still to fulfill before my own earthly life is expired. I believe the great virtue of humility is the key to understanding in a limited human way about our very finite existence in this crazy confounded world. One Day at a Time.

Peace
Chris

I think Pain often stops us from seeing and desiring better things for ourselves. I not speaking of something so grandiose.
But beginning with little things
It takes courage to live through suffering; and it takes honesty to observe it. C. S. Lewis
To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
G. K. Chesterton.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby wilsn » Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:24 am

Honestly, I have three diagnosis which has totally tipped my family from the pillar which we once stood. My relationship with my wife is nothing like it used to be, mentally, physically or spiritually. We have become more like roomates than lovers, sad but true. My children, are totally confused and avoid me at times. As for my parents and brothers, they are all in denial and refuse to discuss the matter of schiz/bipolar/psychotic.

As for me, I have chosen to seperate myself from those who are not supportive and work with those that care. I have a lot of rebuilding to do with my wife and children but i can only take one day at a time.

My past experiences as a child and early adulthood is what lead to my break. I have found my case to be progressive, from being a lost child in Wal-mart to currently homicidal/suicidal. There are days that i believe my meds are working great and for the others, I honestly believe dying is the only resolve for my situation. I'm backed into a corner and the only option i have is to fight back or die.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby benedictus57 » Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:12 am

wilsn wrote:Honestly, I have three diagnosis which has totally tipped my family from the pillar which we once stood. My relationship with my wife is nothing like it used to be, mentally, physically or spiritually. We have become more like roommates than lovers, sad but true. My children, are totally confused and avoid me at times. As for my parents and brothers, they are all in denial and refuse to discuss the matter of schizo/bipolar/psychotic.

As for me, I have chosen to separate myself from those who are not supportive and work with those that care. I have a lot of rebuilding to do with my wife and children but i can only take one day at a time.

My past experiences as a child and early adulthood is what lead to my break. I have found my case to be progressive, from being a lost child in Wal-mart to currently homicidal/suicidal. There are days that i believe my meds are working great and for the others, I honestly believe dying is the only resolve for my situation. I'm backed into a corner and the only option i have is to fight back or die.


Hello Wilsn;

I think you have more courage than you perhaps give yourself credit for. Just articulating your own observances here shows a lot of positive character within, even if you perhaps don't think of it that way, despite yourself being faced with a number of difficult and painful setbacks.

wilsn wrote:
My children, are totally confused and avoid me at times. As for my parents and brothers, they are all in denial and refuse to discuss the matter of schiz/bipolar/psychotic.


Confusion and Avoidance with your children and family is born out of fear and their unwillingness to make an effort see past such fears because in some respects they feel psychologically paralyzed as to know how. This is common with so many people when faced with seeing loved ones suffering a mental disease and even a vast array of other medically defined diseases, including terminal sicknesses that loved ones and friends don't know how to apprehend, much-less feel powerless how to support.

Pain can not only blind ourselves from seeing our true inside behind vulnerable masks and walls, but enabling ourselves from seeing another person's suffering pain.

It's taken me years to learn this not just for myself but in trying to fathom certain family members who fail the commitment to understand mental illness period. Again fear plays a big factor in this because ("we all carry some sort of pain within ourselves").

wilsn wrote:
My past experiences as a child and early adulthood is what lead to my break. I have found my case to be progressive, from being a lost child in Wal-mart to currently homicidal/suicidal. There are days that i believe my meds are working great and for the others, I honestly believe dying is the only resolve for my situation. I'm backed into a corner and the only option i have is to fight back or die.


I can understand your feelings here. But please know that despite your sufferings and pain, it serves no purpose to choose to die by taking ones life. Fighting back is always the better choice. I've been down this road myself in the past and all its done is cause me embarrassment and more resentment of myself. I know its not easy living with suffering, but I do make the effort and courage to say that if I feel I can't make this commitment to myself, do it for those you love and by giving of yourself to others.

You will appreciate yourself more despite everything else. Everything I've said is a huge reminder for myself as well.

Take Good Care of Yourself

Peace
Chris
It takes courage to live through suffering; and it takes honesty to observe it. C. S. Lewis
To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
G. K. Chesterton.
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Re: How has your life or your family been affected?

Postby jember » Fri Sep 14, 2018 1:46 pm

Classified developmentally disabled but unable to get services thru Calif Regional Center on D.D.I am a simple minded person who gets overwhelmed by multitasks. Have only 6-grade education since TBI happened at age 13.Up until I was in 30's I was still being told I had "dual diagnoses"
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