Close call with a near overdose

Due to my bad life choices, I took 2 pills yesterday afternoon. I've taken this stuff loads of times with no issue but not in a while and never this type.

I took it just before driving. Arrived home and new I was in trouble but I couldn't walk. I managed to find diazepam, took four to calm myself. Found some energade and tried to just go to sleep.

I was so out of my mind I eventually went to a place of my body being so gone I just wanted to endless sleep. What was 5 minutes turned into eternity and I felt okay. I knew I had an arythmia but it was okay. It's okay to be dead.

I put myself into the fetal position and I remembered everything. All my life flashed and it was tiring and long and I remember just wanting to sleep deeper and let go.

I knew at this point, as I would come to consciousness and watch my heart rate jump from 58 to 140 and the dial on my watch would change by the hours that I was not good. At this point it was my body only as well as some fumbled sort of timed attempts at hydrating.

Five hours later I regained a semblance of consciousness and my temperature was at 42 degrees celsius. I managed to walk outside into the cold and passed out again, slipping between the clouds and three moons.

10 hours later I was conscious enough to go to the bathroom - kidneys were functioning.

I can't afford to go to the ER as either I died yesterday or I run the risk of not getting the care I need in the future and ruining lives.

I was stupid.

My heart still feels bad but I will keep a look out.

Lesson - you can take a near lethal or lethal dose of ecstasy. Next lesson - I found some inner peace with dying. I don't think you feel scared. You worry for those you love. But the lull of peace is peaceful.

I'm acting like everything is normal but no..

Please consider getting looked at, okay?

You're most definitely not dead- I'm reading this post. But I'd feel a lot better if you got checked out.

Hey , Deer ...

How are you now ? I'm with Snaga - please get a check up if possible .

Yes , you can OD on ecstasy and personally I would be pretty skeptical of any profound revelations I had while it was still in my system .

Let us know how you're doing , OK ? Sending some hugs , if you need them .

NSR

Sad to read you had a full-blown serotonin syndrome. I hope you are feeling better now! Don't be too harsh for yourself.