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What substances fine to me

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What substances fine to me

Postby Derek504 » Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:39 pm

Hi guys, First of all I have to apologise for my bad english
I'm 18 years old now and I'm clean since dec 2019 now.
I started smoking pot when I was 15 and 1 month after I used to smoke a lot every day.
6 months later I started using strong drugs of a lot of type often and mixed together. That was the worst mistake I could ever done. I started to become very slow mentally, I started to have panic attacks every day, and the drugs made me do some things that I prefer not saying cause only thinking about them make me cry.
I started to have bad thoughts and I started to have vary bad paraphilias, like attraction for kids around ten and masochism, and I feel very bad about it. On dec 2019 I had a very bad trip that make me have anxiety 24/7 for 6 months and I decided to stop forever. It was hard, but I did it! I become the old me, smarter, kind and gentle as I always been since a kid.
But recently I started to have this thought again and I'm becoming really worried. I would never do nothing bad to anyone irl, but I'm scared about my thoughts and my mind.
I made this post just to listen to someone who can maybe understand me and maybe give me some advice or telling me their story. Thank you.
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Re: What substances fine to me

Postby Wally58 » Tue Nov 24, 2020 7:16 pm

Drugs and alcohol may have worked for me in the beginning (or not). But then they turned against me and turned me into a person that I didn't want to be.
In recovery, I still have difficult days, but I no longer have the unmanageability, hopelessness and loathing that I once had.
It is one day at a time. Keep up the good work. Best of luck to you. :D
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