Welcome to the forums. Similarly, but instead I used alcohol helped me through some difficult times. In fact I couldn't imagine life without it for many years. It seemed the only thing that I looked forward to and I thought that it was my best friend. I felt that I couldn't function without it. It was the only thing that worked.
When it began to cause problems, I could not stop using it. Addictions grab you and won't let go. Addiction is a killer.
I tried stopping on my own and failed miserably every time. I was told to try AA or NA. But I guess that I still wasn't ready to stop.
When things got bad enough, I went to detox and rehab. I would like to say that it worked the first time and I recovered with a happy ending, but alcohol wasn't going to let go so easily.
Maybe I thought that I could control my drinking after drying out, but that is a myth. I was an 'all-or-nothing' drinker. I had to be admitted to rehab a few more times before it finally worked. I am a slow learner.
AA/NA and rehabs will work if you are finally ready to quit. I had to want recovery more than everything. Once I reached that point, I was ready to open up, listen to others and change. I quit drugs and cigarettes at the same time because I did them all together anyways.
This was 30 years ago, one day at a time since. I did have other addictions to fill the hole left by no alcohol, like sweets and carbohydrates, but I was able to reduce them once I stabilized.
Alcohol was 90% of my problems and once it was lifted, I could work on the other 10%. The doctors would never prescribe useful anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds to an active alcoholic, but once I was free of alcohol, I could be treated for psych and childhood issues.
You can change who you are. I would get an assessment. Get a thorough physical exam with lab work if you haven't lately. Listen to others that have been through this. Learn from them what works and what doesn't. Get support. Get a sponsor. Do whatever it takes to break the addiction and get well. It is much easier when you have recovering friends wanting the same things in life as you.
Best of luck to you.