Alternatives for Stimulant medication addiction

I used to be addicted to stimulant medication i took for ADHD. I took Ritalin for 4 years through my education, and believe I became heavily addicted. I had to stop taking it because I got sick and now I cannot get access to it as it may trigger mania or is liable to abuse. I display ADHD symptoms and was diagnosed with it originally before it was updated to Bipolar. I still believe I suffer greatly from a lack of dopamine. I have experimented enough with drugs to know which hits which spot and am educated enough to know the drug mechanisms and how they affect the body.

I suffer from a chronic black smoke of depression, mainly every single day. I am taking sertraline 50mg Sodium Valproate 900mg, for mood issues. I additionally bump this 'mild' mood lift up with St John's Wart, L-Tyrosine, Ginko Bilboa, Ashwaganda Root, 5-HTP, Cannabis, and when I need to study hard or tackle big projects I would indulge in Cocaine and stimulants, because after 4 years of relying on meds to help you focus and concentrate on big tasks It's very hard for me to do it on my own. it's virtually impossible, getting me to sit at a chair to do work is just literally like frying my hands on a hot stove.

I'm such a crippled person off the stimulants, i feel so lacking in confidence, so submissive and like a doormat where I had confidence before. I could take on any task and nothing was too much of a problem.

What options do i have ? because I clearly can't get stimulants again off my current doctor, I was going to discuss modafinil with her maybe, surely there should be some evidence that i am suffering from some kind of stimulant dependance withdrawal thing like constant lethargy, depression etc due to not being on stimulants anymore daily? supplements are so expensive and don't take me very far, drugs are dangerous obviously.

I really would discuss your medication options with your doctor. They know you, know your past history and are best qualified to find you the best answer to your question.
Be totally honest with them and they should be totally honest with you.
Best of luck to you.

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