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Blackouts and odd bahavior.

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Blackouts and odd bahavior.

Postby Lifelongdepression » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:40 am

Hello hello this is my first post here. Hoping someone can offer some insight beyond the obvious. In my mid-thirties, been getting treatment for depression, anxiety and avoidant personality disorder for the better part of ten years. Right now I'm on velafaxine xr and clonal exam 1mg up to 3 a day. I've been on clonazepam for the bulk of the time. I would consider myself to be a moderate drinker, perhaps on the higher end of the moderate scale but I don't drink every day and when I don't I'm ok, don't feel any type of urge to go out of my way to get some. So my body should be tolerant to alcohol and the pharmaceuticals and I haven't had any terribly bad reactions in a long time; which is when I was in a depressing marriage and also facing a potentially fatal medical diagnosis. That was in 2013 and since then I hadn't had any terribly odd experiences. That was until august.

When I got off work and picked up two beers at 711, they were 2 for 6. Next thing I know I'm in another county, about an hour from home, heading in the direction of home. I had apparently sent a text to my Xgf and she is roughly in the vicinity of where i was coming from.

Now Saturday, I slept most of the day as I worked overnight and got home about 6am. I remember being home and was hungry so I went to get some dinner. The details are kind of fuzzy after that, I remember going to a KFC. Next thing I remember was suddenly being aware I am on the highway and about 60 miles north, heading in the direction of home. There is no reason I'd go up that far north, I don't know anyone there. So I came home and slept like an hr before I had to work.

I know Google maps will ask me to rate a store or place I go to so I thought maybe the app can tell me exactly where I went. It shows a bizzar trek of random driving and stops at places I have no reason to stop at. I have no memories but I must have been at least somewhat coherent as I pulled up my bank app and see small purchases made at a couple convince shoes and there were 2 bottles of diet mt dew which is something I sometimes drink. now this was Saturday night and the roads I was on are hardly lightly traveled...I drove right through the heart of downtown. A few hour later I for whatever reason being heading north and just kept driving.

I'm wondering if this could be some sort of disassociative disorder. With the amount of alcohol I drank and doing the calculations, it should not have been able to cause that long of a blackout...5 or so hours. Within 2 or at most 3 hours it should have crept down to nowhere near blackout level. I was also able to successfully navigate my way through areas I'm totally unfamiliar with, make purchases, make it through high traffic areas without an accident. Looking at the purchases I made, a sandwich, soda and gasoline; I don't believe I had any more alcohol than what I initially had. No empty bottles in the car but there was the empty sandwich box and the soda.

All the factors here are leading me to believe there more going on than just an alcohol/benzo blackout.

Further, when one is blacked out, either drug induced or disassociative disorder, or even a disassociative issue triggered by the initial blackour; what is controlling the mind? Just trying to figure our which part of my brain is thinking driving 70 miles away for no reason, a waste of time and gas was a good idea?
Lifelongdepression
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