I need a drink so badly

I recently signed up for treatment/counselling. I want to cut back first then hopefully quit before I am too deep into my alcoholism. I want a job and a purpose. I drink out of pure boredom, loneliness, being afraid to be left alone with my own thoughts, escaping reality, to feel normal, I don't want to feel anymore, etc. I quit for 5 years. I wasn't an alcoholic then at all. I only drank occasionally but I was forced to quit when I got a job. Plus I lived in a tiny city where I had to bus or get a drive to the liquor store. Now that I live alone nobody can tell me not to drink or use drugs. I literally live close to 2 stores where I get my daily dose/fix of alcohol. There might be another one opening up. And there are also a few bars downtown where I live. So alcohol is way easier to access now that I live alone.

-- Thu May 18, 2017 3:19 pm --

I have been experiencing withdrawals. I get jumpy, anxious, agitated, restless, insomnia, shaky hands, irritable, etc. I have only abused alcohol for 17 months. This is the worst it has ever gotten. I didn't have an issue before that is why I quit cold turkey for 5 years. But severe boredom has caused me to start up again.

Cutting back first didn't work for me. I had to quit altogether because I was an 'all or nothing' kind of drinker.
DTs and alcohol withdrawl can be dangerous and deadly. If you need a detox, try to find one that will take you. Mine was tied closely to a hospital in case I needed it.
I was lucky as they transferred me directly from detox to a 60-day inpatient rehab with no chance to go back out. I begged them not to let me go back out there.
I would likely have never made it back alive. I went through rehab with many of the people that came over from detox with me. We made good friends and worked together at staying sober. It is nearly impossible to stay sober alone.
Sugar helped me get over the hump. Have a bowl of ice cream instead?
Get to an AA meeting and talk about this issue. A problem shared is a problem halved. We've all been through early sobriety and remember what it was like. Find a sponsor to help you through the steps. Get phone numbers. Get involved.
Best of luck to you.

I have quit cold turkey and gone months (longest stretch was 18 months) without a drink several times. they weren't failures because I didn't ever plan to quit forever and I would quit again if it got out of hand. A few times I did allow myself a beer a day for a few days if I was quitting because it had gotten really excessive. I was able to stick to that. But I made an important mental distinction - I was not tapering down; I had quit and just had an option if needed. I drank one on the first day every time I did that (the near certainty of a hang over was one reason I would allow it) but never drank on the second day.

You never mentioned how much you drink. What will happen as you can send you to drink more of the withdrawals will put you in the hospital. I drank heavy for 15 years. You don't drink all that heavy taper. Best thing you can do is spread it out over a couple weeks. I'm not going to advise it but you're having withdrawals going to have to have a few drinks in the morning and maybe at lunch one or two. This will help you function better. Full-blown withdraw or dts can kill you. You have to be drinking pretty heavily though you said you only been drinking 17 months. You should be able to quit fairly easy. You're drinking a couple piss a day for a couple months straight and you just quit you can have a heart attack. Happened to me twice. The shaking will go away when you have a beer in the morning. You drinking heavy enough to give withdrawals you need to keep a little bit in your system it should smooth you out. Always tried to keep a beer in my system at all times and never really had withdrawals.