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A successful addiction to methamphetamine

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A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby MrMakeitHappen » Wed Jun 24, 2015 5:15 pm

Hello. I am a 35-year-old male, 6'3, 190 lbs, I graduated from undergrad with a 3.95 GPA and scored a 169 on my LSAT on my first attempt without ever practicing. My career skyrocketed right out of the gates. I tasted more success in my first year out of school than many people ever get the honor to experience. And I have been using methamphetamines everyday for 18 years. Most of those years I smoked it. I didn't start banging it until my 30s. In case you're wondering, yes I have all my teeth, and I'm a strikingly handsome man. No one would ever believe I'm a meth user. I think the difference between myself and most others is my uncompromised decision to stay far away from other meth users. I have zero association with the people and their culture. I have never stolen a even a penny to get high. I've never pawned my belongings. I sleep almost every night and eat throughout the day. Especially since I started banging, for some reason it's been a healthier way for me to use. I have had only 4 dealers in my 18 years of using. I'm always their favorite customer. I think it's my sanity level and the fact they don't feel a need to be guarded around me.

So when does an addiction become a problem? I'm not "all that I can be" when I stop using. I'm lazy, slow, my brain stops forming all the great ideas that form when I am high. I'm a better lover, brother, son, worker, and citizen when I'm "medicated." So, when does an addiction become a problem? I'll tell you when. When someone you love with all your heart falls victim to the same substance, only unlike you, they cannot sustain their life. I fell in love. I've never lied about my addiction, I never had to. Nobody ever really suspected or asked. Women in my past who discovered my secret wanted nothing to do with themselves, and as long as it was out-of-sight, out-of-mind, and didn't get in the way of our sense of normalcy, it was never a problem. But this girl convinced herself that she could do it just as I do, and now I am living with stereotypical "meth addict" you'd expect to be portrayed in an after-school-special. And I'm scared to death because I love her so much and she had no clue what she was getting into, and never would have had it not been for her wanting to be part of my life.

Now, she struggles to quit. She can't even bring herself to make it through a day without it. I try to leave her for her own good, because I love her that much, but the mention of it hurts her so badly, and then the guilt eats me alive, and I stay to look after her. I'm going to have to quit for her to quit, and I don't know if I can.

I know many people will point out the obvious: rehab. I'm an intelligent person. I've know the treatment options, theorems, I've read books across the entire spectrum of worldwide views on treating addictions. What I'm more hoping to discuss: will I hate my sober self? Will I resent all this once I see how less of a man I become without my medication? Should I stop at all?
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Re: A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby MrSigma » Mon Nov 09, 2015 3:28 pm

Some people tweak right out on the stuff. Others sort of perform optimally. A substance abuser may be prone to chase a rush and do more than they need. So, have you thought about regulating how much they do, based on your weight compared with them? Sometimes people need to learn how to moderate their usage, and stop chasing rushes.

In any event, good on you, as it sounds as if you found a good supplier. Other users, may get less than pure or optimal sources, thus the deterioration on their systems might be more apparent. It is synthetic and people can and will cut the stuff with salts and so forth.

In any event, your cardiovascular health is at the most risk, besides your kidneys and adrenals, right? Trust me when I say, the medical industry is not equipped with the technology or science needed to serve you, when understanding early signs of kidney woes and so forth. They are better equipped to catch issues when they are life threatening or debilitating.
The opposite of socialism isn't capitalism, the opposite of socialism is "race"-ism.
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Re: A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby jacob8907 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:17 pm

I can relate to you on somethings you posted. I'd say 1/100 can maintain a blanced life on meth. This girl obviously can't handle the dope and I don't believe she could moderate her addiction. It don't work like that. She will only get worse. You maybe able to maintain your balance and successful. If you really love her, care about her and want a future. You need to stop or play it off that u did. Best to take a break.

How could you expect a meth addict to stop when there significant other is getting high??It's unfair to her and it's a trigger.
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Re: A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby KaREBear_88 » Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:11 pm

Similarly, I used for about 3 years - and in those three years, I got an amazing job, then got a raise, then got in amazing shape. It honestly really pulled me out of a rut. I was introduced to it by a much older man that I had started dating. From day one he told me about it, but I was always a hard-partying girl, so I was game.

I was astonished at how easy it was for me to just stop. I just have not had access to it and so for about a year now, I have not touched it, do not care to. If I saw it again I'd probably do it again but like you, it's never been a problem for me.

My ex, however is the stereotype. He IS successful but that's only because we work in a creative industry so his madness is dismissed as an artistic sensibility. But he squanders his money and moves state to state between jobs for no real reason. His teeth are fake (he claims he lost his teeth a car accident but I call #######4 - he got implants, so it at least LOOKED good.) He also has violent mood swings and that was the part I couldn't take. I don't want there to ever be a Lifetime movie written about my life.

I still talk to the guy. I still love him. He seems to be doing okay now. I don't know if he's still using. But I know if I was with him, we would definitely trigger each other into doing it. You might not want to hear this, but you might not be the best thing in her life right now. I obviously broke up with my ex but I still talk to him. You can be supportive from a distance.

As for whether or not YOU should stop - I mean, obviously there are health concerns still present. I am on now meds and I smoke weed daily - all of which might be why it was so easy for me to just quit meth. I'm currently on Welbutrin which is a stimulant and anti depressant. Maybe you might want to consider getting prescribed adderall? It's similar, less dangerous and if meth helped you maybe it's a sign you have a concentration issue.
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Re: A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby Jupiter777 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 9:21 pm

I wouldn't say I was a "fuctioning addict". But I would be able to go to work right after using. Attend family functions. I wasn't the type of user who would go balls to teh walls. Even today, I smoke week, and I have had teh same $40 since december or something. I like to just feel it. sometimes stronger than other times. But I never like things that make me completely spin out. Even my last mess around with meth. I would slam, but I never slammed more than half a point or something. When it comes to meth, I'm the type who likes to not over do it, becuase I get paranoid and just end up hating getting high till teh high wears down.
BUT with ecstasy, that's the type of drug that I like taking 2.5 pills and sit down and completely go through the whole closed head, listening to music feeling. hugging someone next to me. But even then, it's hard to know how much will truly ###$ you up, so it'll always be there, no point in globbering it all down at once and just get super tweeked to the point where you just want to sit and be all paranoid, because you think the CIA or Mossad might be coming through the window or something.

BUT, onto you, sorry for getting a bit carried away there. You will know when it's a problem when you start having problems in your personal life. Are you completely able to not have your use affect ANY area of your personal life? That's I think when it becomes a problem. When you start getting to places late because you stayed an extra 30 and hr at home smoking. You cancelled on a meeting or friend's appt because you were feeling like $#%^ from the meth. You will know if you have problems which the only reason they are there it's teh meth. That's when you realize you have a meth problem and need help. Otherwise, you might be like the .0001% of the functioning meth addicts.
Also, don't live in denial. That's a way of meth addiction getting ya in teh end. Like you don't deem it a problem, but it's because you're blinded by the meth and living in denial. be careful.
Dude, even thought you have had a successful life with it so far, perhaps you should think about getting off. I mean, I understand how it might be a necessary substance in the business world, or in a career where you constantly have to be on your feet. But if you're career is so successful. think about when you retire. you don't want to have health problems then right? You want to enjoy your success and all the $ you were able to save and travel. As good as it's going right now, nothing is worth so much where you overlook your own well being in the long run. You might meet a beautiful girl and want to settle down, but she might not be ok with this. Just things to think about.
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Re: A successful addiction to methamphetamine

Postby Nyyx » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:20 am

It becomes a problem when you can't do the everyday $#%^ without it.
It's a problem when you have to change your method of use cos smoking is just not quite doing it anymore.
So don't kid yourself, it's always been a problem. If your using everyday just to get by and make a living.It's a problem. If your standing there saying it's not a problem,it's definitely a problem.
I have been an addict for 24 years. The health problems only started in the last 3 years as I became older.
My veins are shot. I have constant swelling in my hands and legs. I am at v.high risk of DVT. So no long haul flights for me.
My kidneys are wearing, reoccurring infections.
Colds I can't shift.
My memory is shot to fk. Oh and my heart has started going arrhythmia.
It's all starting now. Your body can't hold up forever, much as we wish . And when it starts it comes on rapid.

I have raised all four of my kids, still putting them through uni now, but I been off sick for the last 9months.
Like you I was careful. Only had two dealers,didn't use socially. If I couldn't score from them I didn't score.

But even your dealer can have a dodgy batch.

Oh...And it's a problem when you struggle to choose your love over being able to use.

Only you can answer your questions.
I made a very conscious decision to remain single if I was using for the very reason your describing.
I won't bring someone else into this world. It's selfish,because your feelings and emotions aren't genuine and it isn't fair.
Will you like yourself, depends how much damage you feel you have done once you sober up.
how long do you think you can keep running.
I suppose the fact your even asking these questions is an indicator that perhaps things need to change.
Wether your ready yet is a different matter, you don't sound desperate enough to make the break. Most need that desperation because they just aren't strong enough to get free.

I wish you all the best in your future, and hope you find what your looking for.
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