Our partner

How am I able to...

Stuttering message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: seabreezeblue

How am I able to...

Postby 3LittleMonsters » Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:52 pm

This is my stuttering story. I started stuttering when I was about five, what it was brought on by I have no clue. My older brother would used to make fun of me and interrupt me a lot, so maybe but who knows. Well, throughout school I wouldn't read aloud, just because I would get lost and anxious and start stuttering and there was a fear of just mispronouncing words. Well, the teachers finally realized she isn't going to read aloud and would just go to the next person. I mean when I was in high school if I knew I was next I would excuse myself until the person was done and the next person would read. Even during regular conversations I would stutter, but I had it somewhat under control. I am very shy and when I come into a new environment I choose not to socialize until I become familiar with it. The very first time I met my husband, he started stuttering and I thought he was mocking me, because I would stutter because I wasn't familiar with him and I was uncomfortable with the situation. Come to find out he stutters too, but he has learned to control it better than I have because he has to teach the other troops military techniques that he has learned (He is in the US Military). Anyways, My 6 year old started stuttering when he was 3, but I would tell him to stop and think about what he wants to say and say it slowly, which he rarely stutters anymore. Now my 5 year old, talked really well but in the past year and a half he has developed an increasing stutter. I tried the same technique with him and tell him to stop and say things slowly, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. His is much worse than his brothers, but now I'm catching myself stuttering a lot lately too. A couple days ago, I was trying to ask a question to my husband and I must have been repeating "How do I...How do...How do I..." for about five minutes because he just sat there and looked at me like I had 5 heads. I'm not too concerned about myself, because I am out of school and my social life is just 2 neighbors and my family, but I'm more concerned over my 5 year old, because he is only in Kindergarten and kids are so cruel now-a-days. So, what can I do to make him slow down and think about what he is saying?

Thanks everyone!
3LittleMonsters
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2011 1:24 pm
Local time: Mon May 20, 2019 7:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: How am I able to...

Postby jasmin » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:36 pm

Hi, 3LittleMonsters! Is there any chance that someone is bullying your 5 year old like you were bullied? Sorry to ask. Have you asked your husband what helps him?
Hmmmm, how about giving your boy a big hug and maybe a small treat after he takes his time and slowly says what he wants to say? Maybe not as a rule, just as an encouragement and you could mention how proud you are and ask your husband to do the same if possible.
forum-rules.php
I am sorry I am not on the forum as much as I used to be, if I do not reply to you quickly, please contact another moderator/supermod/admin as well.
jasmin
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 15541
Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 1:59 pm
Local time: Tue May 21, 2019 12:56 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How am I able to...

Postby Starling2003 » Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:23 am

Stuttering is difficult for everyone-for those who stutter, and for those who do not stutter. Of course, harder for the stutterer. People who do not stutter though often feel uncomfortable and do not know how to respond to the stutterer, so they often try to 'aid" the person by telling them to speak slowly, or they begin to find their thoughts for them.

I do not know about you, but as a stutterer, neither of those things help. When I stutter, I want the other person to listen until I finish, to be patient. I also am open to explain what is happening if I feel that it can aid in them understanding that this is not a "choice" but it is something that occurs to those that have a stutter.

For those who can afford it, I think that speech therapy is a good idea.

Otherwise, I think what is important for everyone who stutters:
To learn that it is "ok" to stutter.
To learn that it is "not my fault" that I stutter.

From personal experience, I think that if my parents had teased me less (they did not understand that I had no control over it) and had just treated me as "normal" that I would have less anxiety over stuttering and hence, even stutter less. Since being able to talk is so hard for the stutterer, I would encourage you to listen to your child when he speaks, to act as though what he is doing is normal (it is normal for him!!!).

The important thing to realize is that we cannot control how other people respond to us-we can only control how we react to others. Your son needs to be supported from home. Talk to his teacher. Is she aware that he has a speech impediment? Knowing this, the teacher can watch for possible teasing and bullying. Your role as a parent is to be aware if this is happening and then address it at school. And to let your child know that he is loved and wonderful just the way he is.

I hardly ever stutter anymore and it is because as I grew up, I made the conscience choice to put myself into plays, made myself speak in public even though I knew I would struggle with the words and people might not understand (many people do not understand stuttering and many believe a person can control it if they were more confident, etc). I also had to accept myself the way that I was.

If my parents were to ask me what would have helped me as a child: speech therapy (if affordable), to be supportive of me, to be patient as I struggle through the words, and perhaps, to sit down and talk with me about it and then explain some helpful ways.
Starling2003
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:52 am
Local time: Mon May 20, 2019 3:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How am I able to...

Postby Starling2003 » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:48 pm

I found this site today while doing research and thought this might be helpful (gives tips for helping children near the end):

http://www.chsc.org/ME2/Sites/dirmod.as ... D281BB5BE3
Starling2003
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:52 am
Local time: Mon May 20, 2019 3:56 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Stuttering Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest