by heracles » Sun Jan 26, 2014 3:38 am
I've stuttered with varying degrees of severity since childhood. I can go months or years without stuttering, but what brought me to this forum and this link is that for the past couple of days I've been stuttering on the phone more than usual, and it's been very embarrassing.
While I'm usually about 99% stutter-free, when I do stutter, it's usually on the phone, and it's almost always on the word "good-bye" and often the "okay" which precedes it, as an attempt to deflect the stuttering. This happens with family members I talk to all the time, so it's not about the nervousness of talking to a stranger.
Another word I tend to stutter on is "excuse me". When I was in high school, and I had to get past people on the bus, I'd deflect by saying "pardon me" but that felt awkward, because it sounded pretentious, but it's the only thing I could do.
It's strange, I can almost "feel" a stutter developing. It feels like a tightness in the chest, and maybe a slight panicy feeling.
My brother stutters worse than I do, and my Dad did intermittently, usually on the phone, but sometimes in conversation.
Intermittent, intense angst & sensucht . Covert somatic narcissism/Pseudo-Body-Dysmorphia. Secret, languid schizoid. Dysthymia. Gerascaphobia. Dorian Gray Syndrome. Avoidant. Iatraphobia. Psychiatraphobia. Self-Indentified. Just traits? High on the spectrum? Full blown? Doesn't matter to me. Not on meds. INTJ.