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My GF stutters - HELP

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My GF stutters - HELP

Postby Armands100 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:15 pm

Hello.

My GF who i love so much is a person who stuters.
In general this thing doent bother me even slighly its just not something i think is that important.
But im having problems coz i dont know how to help or comfort here and that she sometimes puts here and anger out on me when i try to confort here.
So im here for advice how to aproach thease situations whne she is havinga week moments
Usually i try to help here by speeking in her place, when she is not comfortable (especialy phone) but sometimes she gets forced in to speeking (for example Bank). And if she doenst manage or the perosn or other side reasks question she just runs away crying. She then repeats same things whyle crying histericaly. If i try to touch or hug her she pushes me away. I try to comfort her but she doesnt listen at anything i say. And the longer i stay with her the angries she gets at me. And im confuz how to handle this situation. I love her and that is part of her but this helplesness kills me.

And that is not the only situation, As a person i try to ignore the stammering, as try not to correct her ever or just wait till she finishes her sentance its not of issue any more of me (thought she doesnt believe that)

Other times if she stummers in publick after that she makes scene on me that if i want i can wallk in shop from other entrance if im so emberased of her.

Or sometimes when there is games like pictionary she reufses to play just of scare that she might stummer.

I never force her in situations to speek if she doesnt need sometiems life puts them in her way as it is.

My question is how to help her and cmfort here in thease sytuation coz so far it seams it jsut angers her if i try to help witch eds up by yelling and pushing me away...

Will be thankfull for any help
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Re: My GF stutters - HELP

Postby mark1958 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:36 pm

Hello Armands,

I am moving your post to our stuttering forum but leaving a shadow here for you in SOFF. That way you can receive input from both forums.

Regards,

M
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Re: My GF stutters - HELP

Postby quietgirl2538 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:21 pm

I stutter. Other people stutter worse than I do. I've seen it. Mostly they keep quiet. And to me they appeared loners when I was in school.

In any relationship, there needs to be "talking" on some type of level in order to communicate what the other is thinking. I can't speak for her, but for some reason she is pushing you away. How about tell her how much you love her and that since you know she stutters and it seems to make her feel very uncomfortable, try writing back and forth through pen and paper. She doesn't want to be alone I'm pretty sure about that. But stuttering is horribly embarrassing and it can feel shameful (at least to me it did). I wanted to be just like everyone else who could talk and never stutter like I sometimes did but it was like my worst nightmare when I had to do a speech. I was about 11 and I did several speeches in front of the class and some mean kids laughed at me. I was too busy trying to say the words that I didn't notice it, but I remembered later. Those mean kids literally got pulled by their ears till they were lifted up off the ground and they never did any of that again. At least that's what I heard. I don't stutter very much. My own husband doesn't believe I stutter because I hardly do, but if I am ever in a situation like giving a speech or reading out loud I will try to avoid it because then yes, I will stutter. And I don't want to look at the world. I just want to run away. My solution is to just keep quiet when I feel I am going to stutter. I somehow calm down and the moment passes. But other people have stuttering in a worse way, so you must talk somehow because I am pretty sure she is very lonely. Without friends and family who supports you and can help you, you are pretty much alone. I even hated it when people would make a big deal about it. I couldn't help it. It was so embarrassing. So, yes, I'd say talk to her somehow and let her know you love her and to please be patient with you. You have only good intentions. And lastly, I recommend a Speech Therapist. A well qualified one. Wishing you the best.
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