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Friend's Stalker: ADVICE PLEASE

Open Discussions About Stalking and Harassment.

Friend's Stalker: ADVICE PLEASE

Postby OrlandoGuyToo » Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:24 am

I am male and I have a female friend at work. Also at my work is a male coworker that has been stalking (following) her. That said the female friend refuses to see this as an issue. Because she is on a work Visa, she says it would be very tough for her to find another job, hence why she doesn't want to "cause trouble". I've already mentioned she's not doing anything wrong so she wouldn't be causing trouble. However, she still insists on this current stance.

Here's details on the stalking:
Incident #1: Stalker kept following her for a month and half to the breakroom, obviously uninvited. Part of the issue is my friend gives everyone a big smile and is warm and friendly to everyone, which I'm certain is just encouraging the stalker. Anyway, when she would get up from her desk to go to the breakroom, he'd get up and follow her there. This eventually stopped when she refused to go to the breakroom anymore.
Incident #2: When me and my friend started going to lunch together at the about the same time every day, once the stalker was able to see the pattern, he started showing up uninvited to sit with us. After 2 days of this, I eventually started leaving the table in protest. I now regret leaving my friend with her stalker, but she was too nice to leave and I wasn't going to be a part of this insanity. I made it clear to the stalker I did not want to eat with him. It made no difference. As long as he could sit with her, he kept coming. Eventually, this stopped when we moved to another area to eat. In other words, we hid from him.
Incident #3: My friend and I who normally leave work together were talking one day that she had to leave early. Because she was going to leave early, I would stay at work. In turning around after that conversation, I noticed the stalker happened to be close enough to hear, but I didn't think much of it at that moment. When the time came for my friend to leave, the stalker also left. But I learned later he "intercepted" her on the way out to walk her out to the parking lot. It appears the stalker overheard our conversation and used that information to intercept her. The reason it appears this way is that 5 minutes before the time my friend was going to leave, the stalker started packing up his stuff and kept watching her at her desk.

In summary, in one sense I am trying to honor my friend's wishes and respect her claim that this stalking is somehow ok. But on the other hand, I feel the stalker must have mental and ethical issues. I do what I can to block the stalking, which mostly involves hiding my friend, but the stalker is very clever. He finds whatever reason he can to go talk to my friend. I realize that isn't necessarily anything bad, it's more of a ridiculous behavior. But I am in constant worry that she will be followed again, or she'll accidentally mention the day/time of where she shall be when she works with him.

Please give me advice!
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