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I'm being stalked at work, does this guy sound dangerous?

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I'm being stalked at work, does this guy sound dangerous?

Postby technosaturday » Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:47 am

Just wanted to get an opinion on a situation at my place of work, which is a public place.

There has been a man that regularly frequents my work place, and has made me uncomfortable for years now. He has done a lot of things which when I called the police to ask for advice they did confirm it was stalking. It recently escalated which involved him waiting for me outside of work watching the staff door before we opened, and chasing after me two known times. The first time I didn't see it but my coworker did, he came right up behind me (winded and red in the face) and glared at me from behind. The second time he came flying in at an odd time (for him) and I saw him run up to me, then when he saw that I had spotted him he got all frantic and took off, my coworkers telling me that he looked totally frantic and was looking around for me (I had gone into the staff room). My coworkers were made aware of this, and kept a close eye on him, and as a result he seems to have backed off, even though he still stares at me. The staring has always been a huge issue. He used to stand in the lobby before opening (we have glass doors, this is before we locked the doors to the lobby) and stare at me for 15-10 minutes not breaking eye contact. But the thing is, I had thought he had backed off for a long period of time, maybe over a year, I even told my manager that, then all of a sudden it escalated, so I'm weary of this seeming lul in his behaviour.

He has stalked another staff member in the past, telling her what her license plate number is, getting pictures of her off facebook. I do not know the extent of his obsession with me. The police had to get involved with the other girl to get him to stop. I have not been friendly with him, but she was. I can only hope this is deescalating finally after all these years, but again I don't trust it. Every time I see him I get a shot of adrenaline. I'm sick of being on edge at my job.

I ran this by my therapist and he told me it sounds like this guy has aspergers. I know aspergers can involve obsessive thoughts and behaviour. But the staring is not typical of aspergers as far as I know. I don't know what to think. Maybe its aspergers, maybe its not? And if it's not, it could be anything. He wears the same thing all the time, he doesn't seem to be deterred by my reactions to his behaviour, he lives on the other end of the city and makes the drive to come to my place of work, and it's usually the same time every day. My therapist said (if it is aspergers) that he's harmless. Any thoughts? I don't know if I should be scared of this guy or not.

I have recently left the most abusive relationship of my life with a legit sociopath (who also stalked me at my work place). I find this all so triggering. I just want to feel safe finally.
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Re: I'm being stalked at work, does this guy sound dangerous?

Postby avatar123 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 8:02 pm

Sorry you're having to deal with this. It is definitely stalking but at low-enough level that you don't have many legal options. The guy obviously has some issues if he's done this before. It's hard to know if he's dangerous or not, but it's best not to take any risks.

I think you're doing the right things. Make your workplace, supervisor and co-workers aware of him so they can help you be vigilant. They can also help by escorting you to/from transportation, or by interfering or distracting him if he gets too close. Also the owner should be able to ask him to leave, and if he does the same thing from the sidewalk, the police can ask him to leave. Someone other than you can make it clear that his behavior is not welcome.

Also make the police aware of him and let them know of significant changes or escalations. Unless he breaks the law, all they can do is talk to him, but that can definitely help. You might also carry some personal protection, in the form of a spray or alarm. If he does something threatening, then you can request an order of protection, but the threshold for that has to be a significant threat, unfortunately,

Other than that, it's best to ignore him, don't engage him or return his stare. Don't feed into his compulsion. If he comes in, let someone else help him. Do keep a record of what he does. A co-worker can help by using their phone to get photos of his behavior, with time and date stamp. Keep all that as it will help the police if things escalate. They also can be used to support an order of protection, if there are many instances over a long period.

If you do these things, it may give you some peace of mind, as you are not completely powerless or helpless. You just have to stay within the law, and let the law work for you if he doesn't. I know that seems unfair (and it is), but hopefully he will eventually lose interest and move on.
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