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Stalked someone and I'm ashamed

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Stalked someone and I'm ashamed

Postby James1234567 » Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:29 am

I'll start off with a bit of back ground. I met someone and we were hanging out and everything seemed great for a couple months. It felt like we were wanting different things so I asked to just be friends, but I really liked her so it hurt to ask. She changed my mind and i thought we could form a relationship. She was saying she had feelings and how happy she was, but a week later tried ending it and I convinced her to give it another try. We kept texting like everything was normal, she cancelled some plans we had the following week and ended it compassionately, it was hard but I was fine. The next day she says she has feelings/how much fun we have together and wanted to meet. I asked to reschedule (I know, big mistake) when the day came and then she says just forget it. I panicked and sent a lot of texts and 2 or 3 calls with no response until the next evening. She ended it again and it crushed me, 3 weeks of uncertainty and I blew it because I asked to reschedule. She didn't give me much of a reason and I was left confused, because she said she had feelings for me. She blocked me off all social media right away.

I asked the next couples of days if this was for real, begging for forgiveness, reminding her of what she said. She told me to stop texting her. My biggest mistake is that I didn't, I was in so much pain and confusion (not to make excuses I really screwed up) that I believe I was blinded. I tried moving on on the dating site we met on and of course I see her on there and I kept messaging her, apologizing, reminding of her of how much fun we had together, basically begging for another chance because it seemed like we were a great match. I did this over 3 accounts because she blocked me and that lasted a month. It was one long message a day or every second day, and fewer frequency with time, maybe around a dozen in total. At the time I thought she'd reply, I was so optimistic. She was slow to block me so I thought what I said at first got her reconsidering, I was just too optimistic. My last messages were begging to know why she said she had feelings and ends it and why we couldn't be friends, and then apologizing.

Now the pain of it ending is over and I've come to realize I've stalked her. I have completely stopped contact with her for a few weeks now and will never contact her again. I kind of realized I was crossing the line at the time but for some reason I kept messaging at the time. I feel absolutely horrible now, I don't know how she feels because of it. I'm full of anxiety, shaking and throwing up. I don't know how to forgive myself for what I've done. I don't know how to live with the title of stalker next to my name, I'm not the kind of person that would do that, I never thought I would cross boundaries like I did. What I say to myself is that I learned a lesson to never do this again and I'm seeing a counsellor for help. But I don't know if that's enough to forgive myself. Has anyone else experienced this and was able to forgive them self?
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Re: Stalked someone and I'm ashamed

Postby James1234567 » Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:20 am

I should just ask how can I forgive myself? This is obvisously not normal or appropriate behaviour, I don't know why I behaved this way, it makes me sick.
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Re: Stalked someone and I'm ashamed

Postby Survivor8484 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 12:13 am

I think it is likely she gave mixed messages multiple times and maybe she has serious problems of her own. So she isn't necessarily healthy when it comes to how she does relationships.
So remember there were two of you and that the entire experience wasn't just you with yourself. She has to go on and learn from what she did as well.

I had a similar situation occur but get much more humiliating for me. I will not chase men again.
I've learned my lesson too many times. If they are no part of the courtship, then they are not part of the courtship(or in the same boat rowing).
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Re: Stalked someone and I'm ashamed

Postby skeetskeet0 » Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:10 pm

I am in a similar situation myself. But it’s more so pressured because I feel as though I’m being stalked. I made a post that still has to be approved to post. But some very strange things have been happening and I think it could be from my ex, so I reached out to her both trying to see if she is behind this and to confess my feelings.

You are worrying too much about this. You made a decision to do something. All is fair in love and war. Now if you were actually following her that would be a point of concern. Just be confident in what you did, and get passed it. It’s in the past, it isn’t who you are, it’s just something you did.
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