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Turning myself in to the police?

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Turning myself in to the police?

Postby Gerontion » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:04 am

This is mostly for the stalking victims out there.

Might want to read this post for some context:


An update: on the bright side the obsession is lifting... slightly... and I haven't contacted this woman again.

However I'm still quite obsessed: I keep bugging her friend about it and still Google her name... too often... I know I should really stop doing that I know its sick and wrong.

But equally I'm overcome with guilt. I desperately want to help the situation and take responsibility for my actions. Do the right thing for once. I know contacting her is absolutely out of the question. I know there is absolutely no possibility of a relationship existing between us again. I know I deeply traumatised this woman and I am deeply ashamed of myself.

My question is this: did/would seeing your stalker processed by the criminal justice system help you? Even if the stalking had ceased for over a year, would it help bring closure if your stalker "confessed"? Did having a restraining order in place help you feel secure?

I'm seriously considering going to the police and asking to be prosecuted. However what stops me is the thought that it might not be what she wants. She might not want to relive it all. But equally I know I've had a deeply negative impact on her life, she was an aspiring actress and all her casting accounts have now been taken down, she removed her address from all the people finder sites and I can tell from this that she must live in fear of me catching up with her.

I know I shouldn't even know this because I shouldn't be googling her or looking up her address - but its just boredom when I'm alone with my computer you know. Sick and wrong, but there it is.

So what are you thoughts on the course I should take? Would it help if I went to the police and confessed everything. Maybe she was annoyed that the police didn't take her seriously enough a year ago and I got let off with just a warning. Or maybe she has moved on. I just don't know. Maybe this is just another way of my sick mind perpetuating some kind of connection with her. Maybe its selfish of me to put my needs of closure and "taking responsibility" ahead of her wishes.

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Re: Turning myself in to the police?

Postby sleepyschizoid » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:28 am

i had a look at your other thread about this and based on what you've described of her behavior, i don't think turning yourself into the police will bring peace of mind for either party involved. it sounds like all she wants is to be rid of the situation and move on with her life. i'm sorry you had to go through this and i really hope you find someone who will reciprocate your feelings someday soon, i can tell the experience has been extraordinarily painful for you.
just close your eyes and i'll take you there
this place is warm without a care
you'll take a swim in the deep blue sea
i'll go to leave as you reach for me
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