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Living after being stalked

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Living after being stalked

Postby Palin90 » Tue Jan 19, 2016 7:02 pm

Hello

I am going to try to make this long story short. It would help me tremendously if some of you could give me advices because my fear stop me from being rational.

I met a guy on Facebook 6 years ago, at age 15. At this time I wasn't feeling good and probably needed someone close I could talk to. I think he saw that and we got really close, really fast. He lied a lot about who he was but here's what I know now : he suffers from borderline personality disorder but refuse professional help, interned in a psychiatric hospital at age 14 for a severe depression, lonely at this time (it seems better know).

Thanks God I never saw him in person, but the whole year we texted was a nightmare to me. I got attached really fast to him because I felt sad for him. I didn't know about this past and didn't even know this kind of person exist. He started telling me he would commit suicide if I wasn't his girlfriend and since it was just online I accepted. I sincerely wanted to help him but he just wanted to push me down with him. That is what happen until I realized one year later how abusive the relationship was. I had to wait for a long time before telling him I didn't want to talk to him anymore because I know he wouldn't leave me alone. But it was like he didn't understand I was seriously ending the relationship.

I think he realized one year and a half later when he really started cyberstalking me. Phone calls, crazy amount of texts to try to make me feel guilty and afraid... I was so shocked I seek medical help.

The therapist asked me to disappear from the internet. That's what I did, I change my phone number, deleted all my social medias... I have to say it worked. He stop stalking me until he sent me a letter telling me he was sorry for his behavior but will always be thinking about me. It scared me even more.

He finally found a new girlfriend, but I don't think it lasted. The thing is, I still feel very anxious like the stalking never ended. I mean, from what I know about him, he probably tries to find me on the internet at times (he knows my friends names) and it frightens me.

Now I have another problem because of that. I am a student and I know a lot of compagnies in my sector use to list their employees name on their website. It scares me so much I can't sleep at night. Because I make so much effort so my name don't appear on websites (so he cannot know where I study and where I'll work) and I don't think a boss would understand what I live. I also had to give up more prestigious jobs because I don't want me name to be found easily on the internet (my name is uncommon).

Every one around me think I'm overreacting but they never been in a relationship with the kind a personality. Now I live in constant fear about my future, I feel like I'll have to hide forever. Now I know he has personality disorder I don't know how dangerous he can get. I just know he is suicidal and have nothing to lose.

Please if you have any advice, if you think I'm right to react that way or if I'm overreacting, your help is welcome. :oops:
Palin90
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Re: Living after being stalked

Postby Im-pure » Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:36 am

Im really sorry this happened...i am familiar with your situation. Does this guy live close to you? What is the damage he can do, realistically? Could he show up at your door?

I won't tell you youre overacting...but you can take your life back. If you like using social media there are many settings you can use to make it as private as you want. Even if he knows your friends names, you could let them know you had a problem with him and not to pay attention to what hes saying.

Dont give up jobs because of him, its your life and by keeping you in fear he accomplished his purpose. If it comes to that, get informed on what you can do legally to keep him away from you. Knowledge really is power in such a case.
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Re: Living after being stalked

Postby Palin90 » Fri Jan 22, 2016 4:03 pm

Im-pure wrote:Im really sorry this happened...i am familiar with your situation. Does this guy live close to you? What is the damage he can do, realistically? Could he show up at your door?

I won't tell you youre overacting...but you can take your life back. If you like using social media there are many settings you can use to make it as private as you want. Even if he knows your friends names, you could let them know you had a problem with him and not to pay attention to what hes saying.

Dont give up jobs because of him, its your life and by keeping you in fear he accomplished his purpose. If it comes to that, get informed on what you can do legally to keep him away from you. Knowledge really is power in such a case.


Thank you for helping me,

He lives a few hours drive away from my home and never went there. But he doesn't know where I study and I don't want him to know, that's why I don't use social medias that much. The thing is, he has mental disorders (probably borderline disorder) and I don't know how he would react if he found my work place just with a simple research. I pray there is nothing he would do, but his obsession could reappear. He never threaten me but to me it's not enough to feel better. My fear is so important I couldn't tell what he could realistically do against me. And unfortunately I don't live in the US, there is nothing I could legally do to keep him away. Thank you.
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