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Online harrassment

Open Discussions About Stalking and Harassment.

Online harrassment

Postby Hallusinating » Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:15 pm

I feel as if i am being stalked by someone on a forum.

The person i think it is, is someone i used to date and live with 10 years ago.
He is a person who i thought i had no bad words with any more, since we saw each other after the break up and became friends.

Now he is in a forum where i am too and he is very "aggressive" towards immigrants.
I am not so aggressive, and so i think this has provoked him.

I found by "coincidence" - he uses a nick that might have something to do with my actions elsewhere online.

There is a chance that he could have found my YT channel and twitter channel.

It looks like he is sending me signals via his avatar.

I have for a long time felt that someone was being aggressive towards me every time i wrote something about in favour for foreigners.

Yet i could never pin point who it was.

He has diabetes which can make him aggressive.

He doesn`t know that i found his nick, yet i think he assumes it.

He doesn`t want any contact just telling me what he thinks, yet in a disturbing way.

I don`t want to talk to him.

I have tried to reason with the problem but he is a difficult person to talk to which is one of the reasons why we are not together.

I once called for a doctor because his lips were purple and i didn`t know that was one of the side effects to his diabetes.
When he found out about the call he got angry and yelled at me.

He had drinking problems.

Its one thing that he reads my posts which are public.. its another when he tries to argue and/or provoke.
He knows he can discuss that matter with other like minded. Its been 10 years since the break up i don`t really want to "talk" to him any more, yet when he is following me around that way, i can`t really do anything about it, so i am stuck.
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Re: Online harrassment

Postby Dwaynne » Tue May 26, 2020 12:54 pm

I've read this post from a few years ago and how would being a genuine victim of revenge via a proxy be still viewed in 2020, as delusional thinking.

Would you think this may change at some point soon?
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Re: Online harrassment

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Thu Jun 11, 2020 4:08 am

I'm fairly new to online stalking, harassment, bullying, etc., but being stalked in general is unnerving and unpleasant.

Blocking is a good start.

Facebook has the block feature, PsychForums has the "foe" feature that will hide whatever someone bullying you says, and I'm sure other forums have something like it too.

If it feels wrong, take it seriously.

If they try to find you to talk to you or try to force contact on phones, texts, etc., tell them you want them to stop contacting you and disengage.

^ disengage even if they start trying to bait you into a fight, etc. because in the eyes of the law, they'll see your responding to them as not having a serious desire for them to stop contacting you.

Document absolutely everything that you think is relevant in an objective (not subjective) fact-based way. It's better to have too much than too little.

If it's ever directly threatening, phone the police every single time and get them to take a statement, so that they open up a file.

When talking to the police and giving statements be objective and fact-based in your descriptions as to what happened.

Don't lie or exaggerate because it will end up working against you - but do express your emotions (obviously not towards them).

Be mindful you'll have to be able to give evidence so it can be helpful to set up motion detector lights outside your house (cameras if at all possible and within your means).

Be mindful that contrary to popular belief, using non-weapons in your defense (even things like the pepper spray on a keychain you can buy labeled as "dog spray") has potential of getting you a weapons charge.

Be polite, respectful and cooperative to the police that come to take your statement.
Note how they respond to your emotions and adjust accordingly.
Getting angry with them will make things worse, obviously.
Even if they are negligent or jaded, a lot of the law's failure is in the way the law is set up (rather than within their jurisdiction).

Ask them what you should do and how to handle the stalker's future behavior; then in future instances, document how you followed what they suggested
* some police will actually coach you in what the law requires, so that you have a better chance at getting proper help

It takes a long time to get criminal harassment charges and restraining orders to go through, but it works against the stalker everytime they go against being told to leave you alone.

Police often offer you information as to where to get counseling and support (at least where I live).
Sadly, they may suggest that you move, etc. while you wait if you the person is likely to be violent.

When it goes to court, they have you do a victim impact statement which you can attend for (or write out a letter if you're uncomfortable attending) for the court to take into account before making decisions.

I tangented into real-life stalking here, but I'd say it's relevant to this particular subforum.

Regardless, in any instance, talk to others about it because it will decrease the intensity of discomfort that tends to go along with bullying, harassment, stalking, etc.
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