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Urge to poop when going out

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Urge to poop when going out

Postby Unexplored » Sat Mar 08, 2014 5:48 am

Hello,
I am 24 years old male. I have developed a phobia or anxiety situation that I should go to poop before going out of the house and over the couple of years the situation is getting worse. It's like phobia that what if I am out and there is no toilet available. When I know that I don't have any plans to go out for the day, then I am perfectly normal. But if suddenly someone asks to go out with them or any job outside of home, it instantly gives me a urge to poop.
Over the years, I have developed a habit of visiting toilet before going to college or getting groceries or going out with friends, least to say it's very embarrassing. When I am going out alone, I feel little more comfortable knowing that in case of emergency, I can do something like coming home or finding a toilet.
When I am outside and I know that there is a toilet available and I can use it anytime I want, then I feel comfortable and maximum don't even use those toilets.
I am not sure if it's completely psychological or it has something to do with my physical condition as well. Other than this phobia, I am perfectly healthy adult.
If there's a specific name for this fear, I would really like to know so I can do something about it with local psychologist or doctor.
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby KevinG31 » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:54 pm

Anxiety. The stress of knowing that you've got to go somewhere at a specific time is making you nervous which gives you the urge to go the bathroom.
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby Bunny234 » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:54 pm

Hi...
I thought I would reply just to tell you that your not the only one. I also suffer with the exact same thing however it is causing me relationship problems cos I can no longer go out for drinks or meals with my partner I struggle so bad taking my kids to school. I missed my sons first school nativity pay last yr because I wouldn't have been able to sit and watch it. I have my shopping delivered most of the time but if I am alone and I psych myself up enough I can go shopping but it can be a nightmare and sometimes I will need to leave without completing the shopping. I am now getting the same feelings when stuck in traffic when I'm out in the car. Whatever this problem is it has and still is wrecking my life. I am searching google for answers but it doesn't seem very common :( I can tell anyone cos I just find this problem so embarrassing I don't know how to ask for help. I'm alright all the time I'm at home, but if a friend comes round I get the same feeling and I get uneasy and nervous. I feel like it's an anxiety problem I just wish I knew how to get rid of it so I can enjoy going out with my kids, and partner etc. also if I do go to the loo I feel like in then need to go again when I want to go out etc.do you get it's too?
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby Ada » Wed Jul 02, 2014 2:01 pm

A friend of mine had this. But it was down to his meds. He called it Bowel Urgency or Fecal Urgency. It's not the same as incontinence in any way. And can be linked to all sorts of medical conditions. But in healthy people, it can be down to stress and be an anxiety of its own.

I think it might be good to talk to a doctor about. So they can go through the medical side of things with you. And make sure that it's not a sign of anything else. Hopefully they can then recommend a counsellor or therapist. To work through the anxiety with.
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby Unexplored » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:09 am

Bunny234 wrote:Hi...
I thought I would reply just to tell you that your not the only one. I also suffer with the exact same thing however it is causing me relationship problems cos I can no longer go out for drinks or meals with my partner I struggle so bad taking my kids to school. I missed my sons first school nativity pay last yr because I wouldn't have been able to sit and watch it. I have my shopping delivered most of the time but if I am alone and I psych myself up enough I can go shopping but it can be a nightmare and sometimes I will need to leave without completing the shopping. I am now getting the same feelings when stuck in traffic when I'm out in the car. Whatever this problem is it has and still is wrecking my life. I am searching google for answers but it doesn't seem very common :( I can tell anyone cos I just find this problem so embarrassing I don't know how to ask for help. I'm alright all the time I'm at home, but if a friend comes round I get the same feeling and I get uneasy and nervous. I feel like it's an anxiety problem I just wish I knew how to get rid of it so I can enjoy going out with my kids, and partner etc. also if I do go to the loo I feel like in then need to go again when I want to go out etc.do you get it's too?



Hello Bunny234,
Yes, our condition is very similar ! Even when i have been to the loo, whenever the situation arises, that i have to go out, i feel like i need to again. As per best of my knowledge, this problem started when i was of 15-16 years old and i would go to loo before leaving home for school. Because the school didnt have enough toilets and it would be embarrassing as well that friends noticing it. So, i would get all ready to go and then visit toilet just before leaving home. I use to feel good 99% of the time and i could easily stay out from 8am to 2pm (school time). Then if i had private classes, i will go to just before leaving home.
The problem got serious over the time and i feel more nervous going out in the mornings. In the current scenario, i am terrified to go out somewhere in mornings. I cant even go for a long walk like i used to do in childhood. Its so tough that i cannot enjoy little things in life like everybody else is enjoying.
So, ofter seeing over the years, i think the cause of all this was constipation, and i would visit toilet to make sure the bowel is empty. But later on the stress and habit factor came i guess. Over the period, i wasnt comfortable if i dont go to loo before going out. So, i would just visit it to avoid the mental factor.
Now, i cant stay out for more time. I am always conscious about this feeling. Every morning if the bathroom is in use (by other family members), i suddenly feel that i also have to visit loo urgently (coz its not available at the moment). If the bathroom is vacant and i know that i can use it anytime, then i am not that bothered.
Nowadays, in the morning i feel like diarrhea everyday. As if the condition is worsening.
Its really wrecking my life. I cannot out with girlfriend or even family for shopping, outing or a dinner :(
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby Ada » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:59 am

Could you perhaps try treating it as a phobia? And gradually increase your tolerance of the anxiety?

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_ ... atment.htm About halfway down the page they cover "fear ladders." So gradually exposing yourself to the thing you're afraid of. Being very gentle and respectful of yourself. But also pushing just a little against the anxiety. Maybe deciding that you're going to walk around the block and come straight home. Then walk as far as a newsagents and back. And so on. The idea being to slowly and incrementally readjust your own thinking and feeling about this. Not forcing anything!
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby insects » Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:57 am

I too struggle with a similar thing. I was travelling this summer and it was extra fear inducing because I went on two 12 hour drives. I would constantly ask to stop to go to the bathroom even if I couldn't go, just to know that it was an option and that my roadtrip partner was ok with it. I think that by the end of the drives this helped me control my fear somewhat because I survived it and no one was mad at me for asking to stop constantly. I know it's not necessarily an option for everyone to do that but I have some other tips that I utilize. When I'm going out with friends I always say that I feel a bit nauseous or have a pea sized bladder and would like to know where the bathroom is as soon as we get to the venue. Or I just say I have to use it immediately even if I don't so that I know where it is for future reference. I scope out public/fast food rest rooms around areas that I am going. These have allowed me to feel a lot more comfortable leaving the house. Weirdly enough, when I am going in a public toilet sometimes I listen to music on my ipod because it helps me block out anxiety about people listening to me going. If I can't hear it then maybe they can't. I also spend a lot of time with my friend who constantly talks about her poop issues and sometimes it makes me feel more okay talking about mine.
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby dzu91 » Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:32 am

Hey guys I just stumbled uppon this post, since ones about this kind of phobia are reallyyyy rare! I have the exact same thing. Here is my experience: I have had this kind of phobia at least for 12 years. Ever since my elementary school I've had the urge to "do it" before i go to school, so it does't happen that I have to go on the toilet in the school(since those toilets didn't have doors at all). So that was pretty much a stresfull period, soon the first day of the 1st day in highschool came. The anxiety came back, but in a more intense way. Luckily my grandmother's house was just beneath the school, so I always hat that backup solution, if i have to take the toilet I have theirs, I really don't have a problem of using public toilets, but that one in granma's house was making me feel safe. :) And yes, i had to use it almost every day for th e first 2 weeks of school, then it just became more and more rare, as a summary I didn't have to go to granma's toilet in the 3rd and 4th grade at all. Back in the first grade I couldnt imagine going on my class road trip, traveling for 20 hours in a bus that is full, two years later, in the 3rd grade, inot a single tought was given! 7 days on the road without a problem! And everything was great again, until college. It came back again and it had worsend, some sort of, the story is long but it came to a point(after 5 years) where i cant even go to a nearby store without being "prepared" (everything out of me). I's ruling my life , and ruining it at the same time. Cant take my GF anywhere. She respects my problem, but i dont think that se really understands how it works or feels, so we have some hard time sometimes. I feel totally helpless coz I know that I cant handle it alone, so i sought help by a psychologist! And yeah, it is an anxiety disorder! 100%. So she gave me some audio tapes, which have relaxing sounds of nature in the background, and instructions how to calm yourself down. Didn't work for me really well. So she asked me shall we continue with drugs or exercise, IMO drugs are the last resort, so she gave me some advice for excersise.
SOME MAY SOUND DUMB BUT THE MAY REALLY HELP YOU:

1.Regular excersise, bike, runing, or some other sports.
2. Yoga or some other meditation.
3. Watch your food! It all starts from your guts every anxiety! :)

Works nice for me so far, and i hope it will do for you also, but there are some things I'd like to explain! I noticed them by now, and can't convince myself into them right now but i hope it might help you! :)

1. Get a sleeping and waking up habbit! That was the way i got rid off my highchool anxiety. I've had an routine. Some time after you realize that nothing is really going to happen. Even if you dont go to the toilet before school. I was waking up 3 hours before school so i could pump everything out of myself, as the time passed, i started waking up 15 minutes before school, and if I have to go to the toilet I'll go, even if. I didnt, I didnt have the urge to go to the toilet while in school! :) Same thing while I was working as a kelner, the first 4 days were the hell, i had to go every now and then. Then it stopped completely!

2.Don't be scared of it! I'm hitchiking to the college, 20 mins away by car, but there is one thing that bothers me(my town is really a small town and everybody knows everybody, 30 000 live here), what will they think about me if they see me somwhere by the road, cleaning my butt? Nothing, they go to the toilet, that is normal, everybody does it! I guess ya all live in some bigger cities, so whenever you are scared to do it somewhere when you have to, think of this: Nobody is interested! And nobody will think you are imsane or something, just do it when you have to, dont let it control you!

Just try to follow my advices, and if you can get a routine. I swear, and i mean it you wont think about it after max 2 weeks! :) good luck everyone, I'll let you know about my progress :)
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby ridingthewtfbus » Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:20 pm

lol I think I used to worry about this, until one day this pretty obvious realization came to mind.....

Everything with an anus has to poop. Imagine the hottest, sexiest creature you can think of, and remind yourself of this simple fact: they also have to poop. Everybody does. You can literally take a dump anywhere you want, and anytime you feel the urge. Even if the urge comes up in a social situation you are allowed to relieve yourself. Ignore the high school toilet humor. If people give you a hard time about it, just say something like "hey no worries, man, I'm sure the next time you need to take a crap you'll be able to handle it. My little babies all growns up!" :lol:
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Re: Urge to poop when going out

Postby RB1234 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:30 pm

I was looking for some answers online because I have the same issue and stumbled across this thread. I was amazed by how recognizable all of your stories sounded, so I wanted to share mine as well, hoping that it might help some other people.

I've had this issue for years now, but it intesified a lot. I'm originally from Europe and when I'm there it never bothers me a whole lot, because I have my routines and I know my surroundings. So this kind of anxiety rarely gets to me there.
But a few years ago I moved to the USA, and now the problem has gotten so much worse! I can't leave my apartment without getting anxious about having to go, both to pee or to poop.
My job also causes me to travel a lot, so taking an airplane is so stressfull for me!

After doing some research online, I discovered that very often these kinds of anxieties are caused by your brain linking specific situations to specific feelings (emotional or physical). Now, I've always had a mild form of IBS, where a few specific trigger foods cause me to have stomach cramps and diarrhea. Because of this, I would sometimes get into a situation where I would have these stomach cramps and needed to go to the bathroom urgently. If that situation didn't allow me to use a bathroom (e.g.: on a bus or in a crowded bar with a long line for the toilet), I would get very anxious, and my brain linked those situations to the anxiety of having to go urgently.

As I learned to deal with my IBS and to eliminate the trigger foods, the links in my brain didn't go away, so the feeling of having to go urgently, still came up when I was in one of those situations where a toilet is not immediately available.

But I have found a few small ways to deal with this:
- The most effective one for me personally is chewing gum. It might sound counter intuitive, because chewing gum can actually work as a laxative. But I use it to distract my mind from the feeling of anxiety. I focus on chewing gum, so that my brain is not focused on the link to go to the bathroom. This works for me in 90% of the cases. Of course, it doesn't have to be chewing gum. Anything that distracts you from your anxiety, will do. Like listening to music, playing a game on your phone, calling up your GF/BF,...
- I always carry things around that I think would help me in uncomfortable situations. Like one of those puke-bags they have on the plane (I bought them very cheap on Amazon) or paper tissues. Just the idea of having them on me, makes me think that I'm prepared, and I'm better able to deal with the anxiety.
- When I'm going in a situation where I know I won't have access to a bathroom, I always have some Imodium pills on me. They immediately relieve the need to go to the bathroom for me. BUT I only use this in extreme situations. I certainly don't recommend using these to anyone, because it'll mess up your gut for DAYS! And please always talk to a doctor before you take any medication like this. But again, for me it's more the thought of being prepared, that puts my mind at ease that I could deal with the situation if I would be in trouble.

All of the above have helped me a lot, but they are only dealing with the symptoms. Now that I feel like I have these under control, my next step will be to deal with the actual anxiety and try to rewire my brain so that I don't link these situations with the urge of having to go. That will certainly be a longer process, and I haven't figured out yet how I will go about it. My next step is to talk to a gastroentorologist or a nutritionist, or maybe even a psychologist. But if anyone has any different ideas, please share them!
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