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fear of bedwetting - anything that can help?

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fear of bedwetting - anything that can help?

Postby anasthasia » Sat Oct 05, 2013 4:16 pm

I have a question about the thing that is bothering me the most these times and for quite a few years and am now prepared to solve it, it's only I don't really know how. I might need some help here.

The thing is... for quite a long time I am dealing with the fear of wetting the bed, even though I haven't done so since the age 7 (this was the last time I wet the bed and it was an accident because of dreaming about it).
It was a nightmare about me going to the bathroom and peeing. I dreamed about not being able to go to the bathroom quickly so I'd pee myself. When I woke up from a nightmare, my bed was all wet. It was a long time ago and ever since I'm having this fear of wetting the bed because I feel quite ashamed of it even after all these years.
It's like I am compulsively going to the bathroom from 2 up to 5 times to check if my bladder is fully empty before going to bed or I am just afraid to let go and to fall asleep. I have tried to just 'go through it and let go' but my mind just won't blank until I am sure nothing would happen. It is the worst if I can feel my bladder in any way. Like the sensation of the urge to urinate. If I feel it, I immediately go to the bathroom and sit there and nothing happens (because my bladder is physically empty, or all that would come would be a little drop after some hour). It's psychological, because there is nothing physically wrong with my bladder and it is very strong (I can hold up to 10 hours if it's urgent). I'm also scared to drink even if I might be thirsty during me falling asleep, because I feel like I have more options to wet the bed if I allow myself to drink anything during the bedtime.
When I fall asleep or wake up during the night, I can function and drink normally because my mind was already sleeping and I'm totally relaxed then.
Now the question is how to tell my mind nothing is going to happen and that my bladder is really empty even if I get this psychologically-induced sensation of the urge to pee?
It's quite bothersome to have to go to the bathroom after every 'feeling' like this, or every thought I might be having to pee. I'm tired of it. Sleep medications as I know can be addictive and I don't like them. Also, I can be naturally quite tired when going to bed, but still my mind won't stop thinking about my bladder.

Anybody has any suggestions about what to do? I haven't told yet anyone about it, but I'm now sick of it. I know there are many techniques to battle anxiety and phobias, I just can't remind myself of any now. I'm confused.

Thank you for any answer and any suggestions. :)
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Re: fear of bedwetting - anything that can help?

Postby Ada » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:17 pm

Two possible suggestions, anathasia. One would be to find someone locally that you can talk to about it. Getting a little counselling could be really helpful in terms of supporting yourself through this. And also sometimes, simply airing problems with a neutral person [face-to-face especially] can be the majority of the hard work done.

The other would be to pick nights where it's OK to be sleep deprived the next day. And to go the toilet, then to bed. And decide that you aren't going to get up again until #am [whatever that time may be.] Even if you just lie there all night. Setting an alarm for that time might help. Even if you have no need to be up at a certain time, it's telling your brain that you're taking it seriously. That you're going to bed and staying there until the alarm sounds to get you up.

And then be a little stern and a little gentle with yourself. Stern because as you wrote, this isn't a helpful anxiety. Pushing through it is only going to make your sleeping easier. It's not going to be bad in the long run. But gentle too because this is one part of your brain trying to protect you from something upsetting. I've had the same experience of bedwetting as an older child. And I also remember the horror of realising what had happened. It's completely understandable to go even to an extreme to avoid risking it again.

Perhaps forgiving your younger self too might help? If it were your own child, you might be annoyed at having to change the sheets or wash the mattress. But you'd also understand that it wasn't their fault and was a total accident. And wouldn't blame them for it. In the same way, you don't need to blame yourself, either then or now.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.

Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
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Re: fear of bedwetting - anything that can help?

Postby moonraver » Sun Dec 01, 2013 1:44 am

You could put plastic on your bed, above all your bedstuffs and sleep without pants as reassurance that if you do happen to wet the bed, it wont make a mess..
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Re: fear of bedwetting - anything that can help?

Postby Brumble » Sun Dec 01, 2013 7:38 am

You might reassure you're self that even if it does happen it's not so bad & the fact you have not peed you're bed in this long so it's an irrational fear you need to be aware of so you will be able to shrug it off it time.
Recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, previous diagnosis was schizophrenia.
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