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Extreme anxiety in social settings

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Extreme anxiety in social settings

Postby Roosteeko » Wed Apr 10, 2019 10:14 pm

Hello, I am a 23 year old guy.
I had a very normal high school life, I was full of friends and I enjoyed going out, partying, meeting a lot of new people and to do small talk.
After finishing school I started moving around for university reasons and I lost most of my previous friends.
Now it's my next-to-last year of university and I find it extremely difficult to enjoy going out. I always feel severe anxiety before going out and while I am out. I especially fear the idea of going to clubs, which I usually don't go to, but when the few friends I have left go there I kind of feel like I have to go as well. Even if it's completely frightening to me.
When I am out, even with people I get along with, I constantly have this fear of not being able to say something that suits the moment or that they would like. I have to admit that recently I have developed rather unusual interests, such as entomology and linguistics (other than two more common ones - travelling and literature). Small talk simply doesn't work for me.
It is very strange to explain but on the one hand I feel super anxious while going out and on the other hand I feel like I will lose the few close people I have if I listen to my instincts.
I think I have changed a lot in the last few years, and I have been through some bad times (problems between my parents that affected me, uncertainty for the future).

I really have no idea how to cope with all this strong anxiety. I tend to keep my thoughts for me because I find it extremely difficult to tell them to someone. Sometimes I even feel a bit silly about being anxious for these reasons.
What can you tell me? Some suggestions, messages or whatever are very much appreciated. Thanks
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Re: Extreme anxiety in social settings

Postby Proteon » Wed Aug 14, 2019 6:24 pm

I can't offer any advice other than telling you that I am the same. It happened to me around 18 years old and then led to major depressive disorder.

Before that time, I was quite sociable, I still had bad anxiety but it was nothing like today. I am 29 now. I am stuck, I don't know if it's a form of Pure O - over worrying about what to say, or maybe it's genetic. I hope you can overcome it, I think I know how you feel.
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Re: Extreme anxiety in social settings

Postby BlahhSAsucks » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:29 pm

This is my current situation too, so I’m going to be following this thread too. I’m 28, female, didn’t have any issues in high school except for not wanting to give presentations, and now I feel uncomfortable in almost all social situations. Sorry I can’t give any advice! Hopefully someone will be able to.
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