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Extreme anxiety in social settings

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Extreme anxiety in social settings

Postby Roosteeko » Wed Apr 10, 2019 10:14 pm

Hello, I am a 23 year old guy.
I had a very normal high school life, I was full of friends and I enjoyed going out, partying, meeting a lot of new people and to do small talk.
After finishing school I started moving around for university reasons and I lost most of my previous friends.
Now it's my next-to-last year of university and I find it extremely difficult to enjoy going out. I always feel severe anxiety before going out and while I am out. I especially fear the idea of going to clubs, which I usually don't go to, but when the few friends I have left go there I kind of feel like I have to go as well. Even if it's completely frightening to me.
When I am out, even with people I get along with, I constantly have this fear of not being able to say something that suits the moment or that they would like. I have to admit that recently I have developed rather unusual interests, such as entomology and linguistics (other than two more common ones - travelling and literature). Small talk simply doesn't work for me.
It is very strange to explain but on the one hand I feel super anxious while going out and on the other hand I feel like I will lose the few close people I have if I listen to my instincts.
I think I have changed a lot in the last few years, and I have been through some bad times (problems between my parents that affected me, uncertainty for the future).

I really have no idea how to cope with all this strong anxiety. I tend to keep my thoughts for me because I find it extremely difficult to tell them to someone. Sometimes I even feel a bit silly about being anxious for these reasons.
What can you tell me? Some suggestions, messages or whatever are very much appreciated. Thanks
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Re: Extreme anxiety in social settings

Postby Proteon » Wed Aug 14, 2019 6:24 pm

I can't offer any advice other than telling you that I am the same. It happened to me around 18 years old and then led to major depressive disorder.

Before that time, I was quite sociable, I still had bad anxiety but it was nothing like today. I am 29 now. I am stuck, I don't know if it's a form of Pure O - over worrying about what to say, or maybe it's genetic. I hope you can overcome it, I think I know how you feel.
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