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Cant stop stealing everywhere i go.

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Cant stop stealing everywhere i go.

Postby Blackberry » Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:24 pm

So im a normal 27 year old woman who has a two year old daughter and i will always teach her right from wrong and i know stealing is wrong and i need to stop because the constant worry of people finding out is stressing me out.Nobody knows,not even my boyfriend of four years.I would be so ashamed if anybody knew but the thing is i cant stop even if i have money i still steal stuff.There are days when i only have 4 or 5 euro for dinner but i can spend that on stupid stuff like fizzy drinks or something else i dont need and i will just steal the food i want for dinner,My boyfriend is totally against stealing and i think he might even brake up with me if he finds out. I would never steal from people like in houses or anything like that,its always shops,but its got to the stage where i cant go into a shop without stealing something and if i come out of the shop and i didnt steal something im thinking uugh i didnt get anything free! i wish i wasnt like this.i have to back to the shops i steal from because i live close to them and i dont drive.Theres one shop in particular ive been spending about 10euro a day and leaving with around 50euros worth of shopping i just carry a big bag and hang it on the stoller.T he last time i was there about 5 days ago i THINK a manager followed me out but when i got to the door i ran around the corner so he couldnt get me,it could be just because im so paranoid that i think he caugh tme,maybe he didnt but im not going back because i know people who work in that shop.I was caught around 4 months ago and the police let me go because it was my first offence so if it happens again ill be going to court and everyone will know.When i was working and had money i didnt steal its just now that my boyfriend and i are out of work and we are finding it hard to make ends meet.Is there anyone out there who was/is going through this i can talk to? Please get back to me if so i Have to stop this.Thanks for reading and sorry its so long
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Re: Cant stop stealing everywhere i go.

Postby Ada » Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:30 pm

This seems like a quiet forum, Blackberry, people post when they have a problem, and then disappear. So I'll say hello in the meantime and hope that other people join in the conversation.

You said two different things about money in your post, that you steal even when you have money, and that you don't have enough money and that's why you steal. It seems like you're trying to find a justification for the stealing, perhaps? It's okay to call it an addiction and deal with it like that. If someone was stealing because they didn't have any money and were in a country without a welfare system, I don't think I could call that wrong, but it doesn't seem like you are in that situation.

You say this is something you want to stop and that you don't want people to find out about. Can you stop going to the main shop where you've been doing it? How do you think your boyfriend would react to it? If he could be supportive and come with you shopping to help you use your willpower not to steal, that might start to rewire your system and break the addiction cycle. It might also be helpful to think through the "i didnt get anything free" feeling. That isn't fair, and as you say, you would never teach your daughter in that way.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


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Ada
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Re: Cant stop stealing everywhere i go.

Postby Blackberry » Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:34 am

Ada wrote:This seems like a quiet forum, Blackberry, people post when they have a problem, and then disappear. So I'll say hello in the meantime and hope that other people join in the conversation.

You said two different things about money in your post, that you steal even when you have money, and that you don't have enough money and that's why you steal. It seems like you're trying to find a justification for the stealing, perhaps? It's okay to call it an addiction and deal with it like that. If someone was stealing because they didn't have any money and were in a country without a welfare system, I don't think I could call that wrong, but it doesn't seem like you are in that situation.

You say this is something you want to stop and that you don't want people to find out about. Can you stop going to the main shop where you've been doing it? How do you think your boyfriend would react to it? If he could be supportive and come with you shopping to help you use your willpower not to steal, that might start to rewire your system and break the addiction cycle. It might also be helpful to think through the "i didnt get anything free" feeling. That isn't fair, and as you say, you would never teach your daughter in that way.


Hi,thanks for your reply.Yes i do think you are right.I have been trying to make excuses for it!
My boyfriend would not be happy at all i cant tell him but since i made this post i havent stolen anything at all and i am feeling so much better about it already.I have been asking friends to come shopping with me so i cant and i will keep doing that until i feel ready to go alone.

About the money i mean that if i have the money to spare now then i still do it because i want to use the money i have to pay other bills but when i was working full time i didnt do it.
Now i think i have been doing well and managing my money better so i will continue to do so :)
Im just worried that when i dont havve much money i will do it again!
Blackberry
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Re: Cant stop stealing everywhere i go.

Postby Ada » Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:39 pm

Blackberry wrote:since i made this post i havent stolen anything at all and i am feeling so much better about it already.I have been asking friends to come shopping with me so i cant and i will keep doing that until i feel ready to go alone.

That's really great. :D

Now i think i have been doing well and managing my money better so i will continue to do so :)
Im just worried that when i dont have much money i will do it again!

Hopefully you can get into healthy habits now, so that if money becomes a problem again you'll remember how scared and stressful stealing was and be able to make a better decision, or get support from friends again until the desire passes. Even if they don't know they're supporting you, it doesn't matter as long as it helps.
We think too much and feel too little.
 More than machinery, we need humanity.
 More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.


Charlie Chaplain in The Great Dictator
Ada
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 10626
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 9:47 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 22, 2019 6:18 am
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