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Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

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Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

Postby ruby_lace » Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:28 am

Hello everybody...I'm brand new here. I've lurked for a day now but am finally ready to post my own topic here.

Let me start off by saying how weird it is to admit that I have a problem with stealing things. Over the years I have found a million ways of hiding it, lying about it, covering my tracks, and making excuses. It feels very uncomfortable to just come right out and say it...but I definitely have a problem with kleptomania and I've been dealing with it as long as I can remember. My earliest memories come from junior kindergarten, and I was not quite four years old. I would scoop the macaroni pieces we used for art (remember gluing macaroni into shapes on paper?) and put them in my pockets. I'd later throw it out or put it back or drop it outside, since I had no use for it. I can't remember why I wanted it, but I'd feel this exciting itch to just take, and a sense of relief when I did. Kind of like the relief you feel after finishing chores - a sort of mental "Aaahh, and now I can relax and enjoy myself fully!"

It's only gotten worse from there. I love hoarding things and snatching things and it brings me such a nice content glee. Weird things like paper towels or plastic straws from McDonalds or raw sugar packets from 7-11 (even though I don't actually use sugar in that form - diabetes rules my family and I reach for Splenda on habit). Scissors, chalk, and rulers from classrooms. Books, newspapers. Pencils, pens. Cutlery. Bobby pins. Cover-up makeup that's not my colour at all. Nail polish, even though I can't wear it because I work with food. Boxes. Hand towels. Blank sheets of printer paper. God, anything that catches my eye.

A lot of stuff, I don't even use. Most of it, I don't need. Need and use don't really occur to me when I am in the act if taking things. It just feels good to take it. Feels good to have the stolen items in my bag. And then, later on, I feel guilty, ashamed, and conclude that I must be a bad, weak-willed person.

I *have* taken 'typical' shoplifter's items like jewellery and clothes during my rebellious teenage years but the experience was not quite like my 'urge to take'. Nowadays I don't steal like that.

However, I have never EVER taken money from my family, from my friends, from ex-boyfriends, from my employer, coworkers or the company I work for...and the sight of money has never given me an urge to take.


I just had to make that clear.

So, I'm moving to another city and making some big changes in my life. I want to make dealing with my problems a priority. First up, in my eyes, is being honest about it. I want to sit down with my future friends, boyfriends, even my new employer and explain my urges and how I'm trying hard to overcome them. I want to explain that I'm not going to cheat them out of money or their belongings and how I don't want to hurt anybody. I've gotten caught with funny questions before when people see me with weird things in my purse/putting a bunch of random things back on shelves. I feel like my lies and awkward behaviour make me look worse than I am. I want to be known as an honest person trying to overcome a serious issue...rather than a weird, untrustworthy lying thief who doesn't care about anything other than herself.

I want to be able to return things and have people not ask questions, or understand why I took them. I always WANT to return what I take but sometimes I'm too scared.

I feel like I would be doing something dishonest if I keep lying and just keep this a secret forever. I really want to make good changes in my life and be a good person but I just don't ever see anyone being understanding. I don't want sympathy, just tolerance...

At the same time I want to be protective of myself. Rumours spread. What if I gain a reputation for being a thief? What if people reject me? What if nobody wants to be my friend or be associated with me? How can anyone believe that I really am trustworthy when I make the statement "I have kleptomania problems"? Maybe it would be better for myself if I dealt with my problems all alone like I've been doing for years...And yet, then it all comes back to feeling wrong, guilty, and ashamed.

Well, I came here for some insight and maybe a little bit of understanding from people who won't judge, and who know what this is like...Thanks so much for listening.
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Re: Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

Postby jasmin » Fri Apr 29, 2011 3:57 pm

Hi, ruby_lace! You are not a bad person, you have a compulsion. Instead of telling everyone about this now, how about finding a therapist and getting help first? That way, you will be able to tell other people when you're ready and if you feel comfortable with it.
Talking here is a good first step, I'm glad you found this site.
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Re: Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

Postby GothicBBW » Wed Jun 22, 2011 7:35 pm

I have some of the same issues you are dealing with now. I have devised schemes just to steal stuff. Stuff that I do not need, I just think I may need or want it in the future. I feel different going into stores and not steal something.

I am learning more and more about why I steal. It is somewhat of a survival thing, I ask myself what would happen if I did not have a particuliar item when I may need it? I see my stealing as part of hoarding. I have donated so much stuff that I have not used or needed. I have an unjustifiable need to have material items like books, DVDs, and CDs. I end up getting rid of them in the end. It is a need to have, sometimes I may sell it to someone who can't afford it - a Peter Pan mentality which is not often. I hold on to things as long as I can. the selling items situation comes about usually when money is tight. I do tend to steal no matter what.

My kleptomania is not to keep up with the Joneses by any means. I have fears that I will become a con artist one day because of my problem. I worry that I can't find a job because of my problem. The big issue is that I do not need the stuff, it is a want, gotta-have-it-even-though-I-don't-need-it thing. The thrill is short lived and it strikes at any time. I get depressed when I don't steal or even after I do it.
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Re: Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

Postby Boundless » Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:56 am

Don't feel bad, I steal and have stolen for many years for the thrill of it. Sometimes for the cash reward but mostly for the adrenaline rush. Knowing I could get busted by the police is what makes so exciting. So remember you could be caught one day and be embarrassed.

I've been arrested several times now and it's embarrassing as can be. Even if it's something of very little value people look at you like you ate their baby. I was addicted to cocaine and I stole every day for a year. That was for the money and I looked at it like a business. People working in stores hated to see me come in. They'd call the police immediately upon seeing me. I didn't blame them at all. I felt so bad for doing that it made me suicidal. When the cops caught me they told me they were following me around in six different cars for weeks. They knew!

Moral to story, don't get comfortable stealing. Crime doesn't pay!
By:Boundless

* * * * * I think - therefore I am ! * * * * *
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Re: Morals & employment vs. kleptomania?

Postby R2b123 » Sun May 19, 2013 1:53 pm

Thanks for sharing , i find this disorder isnt talked about as much other phcyciatric problems . I feel like many people would just see it as me feeling like im better than others and dont have to or want to pay for things and would probably pry the rings off a cold dead old ladys hand at her funeral viewing, (especially if you've ever been caught )

I have been taking certain items from many different retail stores for many years . I want to say that i have never stolen from an inividual, ever, only very large stores, i know people are gonna say its the same but if i ever stole from or outright robbed somebody i would feel sick, so to ME it IS different. Plus large stores a very easy to steal from. I take survivel items, torches, dried foods, ration packs, first aid kits , all kinds of camping goods, whenever i go to the doctor ill say anything to score a prescription af anti-biotics to stockpile, wilderness weapons - machete ect. I have alot of crap , tonnes of stuff sitting unopened packets, i seal up my kilos of stolen batteris in plasctic coz i believe it well help them keep there charge while in storage ( i am an intelligent person and know that makes know sense , but....) and wait for the big event that will suddenly render all of my items extremely useful, The though of needing something and not having it in this mysterious survival scenario brings me to extreme panic and almost always end with me heading out to steal any said items that i might require, i will even ask staff at these stores to walk to and show me where certain items are if i have had trouble finding it, then they walk away and take it and walk out, ( I've found that confidence and speed will almost always work for you, and if your confident enough an alarm sounding as you exit the store wont even be a problem. its common knowlege amoung retail employees that certain mobile phone set them off, and 99% of them dont even register or turn around when it sounds because of its frequency).All this ordasiouse stealing just makes it seem easier and make you more confident therefore more effective. It just escalates.
Im seriously worried that one day ill get cought. Im now 27 with a young child and another one on the way, yet i cant stop it, ( if anything its increased as i now feel more responsible to prepare and protect my immediate family), im so scarred of the day i get cought and my family has pick my up from the cop shop for friggin shoplifting -_- . Does anyone have any tips for me , am i a klepto or is this some unhealthy overpowering feeling to prepare and protect my family in this crazy world, i mean like I've read many klepto folk describe a intense release like they could now relax and move on with the day once they have stolen, i dont feel that at all, I guess i kind of get a somewhat content feeling knowing im just that little bit safer and ready .
it should be said im not under any delusions that the end is coming, Infect, deep down i really believe they will probably never be needed, so why cant it stop.
Thanks in advance.
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