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Can't stop

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Can't stop

Postby GothicBBW » Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:25 am

I am a criminal justice major at a 4-year college. I was busted for petit larceny (shoplifting under a certain amount) nine years ago. I have found a new way to shoplift. Some days I am fine with it and some days I am not. I just can't stop. I do not want to get busted again and don't want to be banned from stores. I can go a couple of days and be ok. The urge and wants come back and I do it again. I don't need any of the stuff! I just have to have it. It is like hoarding! I don't want to be this way anymore. I have been out of work for three years and trying to get rid of stuff (I am selling to make money). I donate what I take. I can't afford to tell anyone because of the shame and trouble I would get into.
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Re: Can't stop

Postby jasmin » Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:27 pm

GothicBBW, is therapy free where you live? A therapist wouldn't report you and if they're any good, they try to help. You could also look for some charities that might offer therapy for free, or support groups for people who shop lift.
Is there anything that seems to help you keep the urges under control? Is there anything special about the days when you don't feel a compulsion to steal?
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Re: Can't stop

Postby GothicBBW » Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:39 pm

It hits me on and off. Most of the time, I am good and don't do it. When I do it, I feel bad. Not like I used to. feel when it would happen. I feel normal when it happens, though. Like I am a regular person. I usually just keep the stuff thinking maybe I will need it, but it sits there. I get rid of it because I am scared that I will have it and get busted. I know that people can't prove it, but it seems like everything I have is stolen even though it isn't! I have OCD, and that waxes and wanes like a roller coaster. I just feel the urge like I just have to have it, even though it is worthless and I don't really need it!
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Re: Can't stop

Postby jasmin » Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:29 am

Well, you definitely need some help from a doctor then. Maybe there are meds for your mood and your OCD. You are not a bad person at all. Talk to your regular doctor about this and ask him/her to tell you where you can get treatment.
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Re: Can't stop

Postby GothicBBW » Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:04 am

I am broke and can't afford therapy. Its just me and my mom. A lot of times, I take stuff b/c I need it. Like vitamins or something. I know we can live without it, but it is so hard.

I take 60 mg of prozac now. I also take 15 mg of Buspirone.
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Re: Can't stop

Postby jasmin » Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:43 am

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. There might be free charities that offer support or therapy in person, in your area.
If not, you still have this place and you can come here to talk any time you feel the need to do it.
How has the addiction been lately?
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