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I want to steal!

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I want to steal!

Postby wc24x7 » Wed Jul 24, 2019 1:26 pm

When I was a kid, I shoplifted a few times, never suspect, or getting caught, until I did; a couple of times. That was back in the 60's.

At some point when I was 8, 9 years old, a buddy of mine and I went to a local "Five and Dime" store which had two enterances, one in front the other in the rear. Well my "buddy," suggested we steal something and run out the back. Sounded like a good idea, so I gave it a try; I took a baseball I think.

My friend was no where to be seen when I got caught, ass-hole! :evil:

The store owner knew my grandmother, yeah that didn't end well. :cry:

Later in life, we had gone through a dry spell economically as a family. On welfare and the monopoly money like food stamps, I took to stealing food for the family. Did this a few times, never got caught.

Then one time my brother and I went to a hobby store where I tried to take some stupid stuff. Got caught and banned from the store. Not sure how old I was, but I was stupid so 15 maybe...((?))

Now I am 64, have taken things from past jobs, paper clips, used the copier for personeal use, etc. Biggest thing of value I have taken was keyboard spray cleaner. That was a few years ago, if the company was still around, I'd go back with a case of it and apologize.

As an adult, I feel the apporperate emotional response of remores when I break moral/ethical rules taught by my mom and grandparents, older relatives, etc.

Lately though and the reason for this post is that the draw to want to steal is coming up in my thoughts and I am not sure why. I am becoming frightful of sorts that I am getting to where I do not want to go to the store for fear that I will try to steal something; where the hell is this coming from!?

I Googled: Why do we shoplift? And read this response:

"Poverty or Lack of Funds. Some people shoplift simply because they don’t have the money to buy what they need or want. There are professional shoplifters who steal and then sell the items that they have stolen. Others might need to steal as their way of gaining access to their basic needs."

And I get this, it makes perfect sense.

For me, I too have been in another economic down turn for a long time. So much so that when I turned 60 with no income I qualified for a state pention of sorts. That "income" fills a hole Social Security doesn't quite cover.

When I turned 62, I had to apply for retirement, no where near old or wanting too, I did. My income now is less than 1,000$ a month. Expenses are about half that. With 20$ being the new 5$, my left over amount doesn't go far.

After writing this out, re thinking my financial/emotional situation, am I (do you think), subconsciously (as the subconscious mind is a keeper of records), reverting back to past fears of not having enough? The "enough" or lack thereof is key, not items taken. I eat the same way.

Maybe for another blog for "Eating Disorders," but that time we were so damn poor I was stealing food to eat, I am fearful of ending up back there, so I eat even when I am full; I don't want to, but I do.

Fear then it appears is my foundation for wanting to steal, over eat, sexual disorders; they are all tied to fear, of going/doing without. My emotional base then is shifting, suttle of sorts, like an earthquake that lifts our foundations from one level to another.

"Psych Today" says of fear: "The emotion of fear is hard-wired into all creatures. As young children, your fears may have occupied much of your emotional life, perhaps because you were so vulnerable and unable to protect yourself. You probably outgrew those fears, partly by acquiring greater physical size and a wider range of abilities and experiences." But our subconscious mind retains our fears, joy, emotions from either side of the spectrum.

I do appreciate this site. TY!
Be safe, sane and adhere to the absence of the 3 D's, Drugs, Drama & Disease.
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Re: I want to steal!

Postby healthfreak » Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:17 pm

Thanks for opening up about your desire to steal again. Such feelings come and go from time to time. If you just ignore them, they will vanish eventually since you are not reinforcing them by acting on them.
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Re: I want to steal!

Postby Manners73 » Sat Nov 23, 2019 7:24 pm

Yeah I get itchy fingers all the time.

It does pass.
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