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What am I?

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What am I?

Postby sirdylan2 » Wed May 12, 2021 4:51 am

For years I’ve been questioning my sexuality. I am attracted to both males and females but I could only see myself romantically/sexually/life partner with a female. I am a male by the way. It also doesn’t help that most people think I’m a closeted homosexual. But either way, can anyone relate? Any advice?
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Re: What am I?

Postby Snaga » Fri May 14, 2021 5:56 pm

Hello and welcome!

I can sympathise, I consider myself bisexual. I have male bits, if we're keeping score.

How exactly are you attracted to males? In something approaching a romantic sense? Or physically? The whole package, or concentration on the genitals or other physical aspects? Is it just the sex act that excites?

There's a lot of levels to it.

In the aggregate, I average out to around the middle of the Kinsey, if I take a test. I theoretically hover around the mid point between being all hetero- and all homo-....... which makes me a bit of a unicorn, I suppose. A small minority of the minority of the population that's not what passes for straight.

But from a practical standpoint, I find I'm more interested in same sex acts, but opposite sex emotional attachments. And the female (opposite sex) form as more aesthetically pleasing as the whole package, whereas with males it's more this part or that part (and no not just genitalia) that is a turn-on. Oddly, I find clothed females more attractive than unclothed; and the opposite for males.

As I said, it's complicated.

As for being closeted, only you know what sort of draw women have for you- it may be for people like us it would just take one good affair with another male to turn us more in that direction, but I find the idea of automatically falling in love with another male to be strange, whereas with females I can be instantly infatuated. I don't think that's something I could be faking because I'm closeted. And what does that mean, anyway, closeted? It implies that the person closeted is damn certain of what they are and they're hiding it. Same as being in 'denial'. Sure, a person can be in self-denial; been there done that myself fabulously:

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But again, you know there's something not quite right- denial is trying to blow it off, or pretend it's not what it is. But if you know you are attracted to women, then you're attracted to women.


I think 'closeted' and 'in denial' gets tossed about too much by people in order to try and pin those of us who don't fit into a neat box, onto the board as this or that. I don't buy it.
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Re: What am I?

Postby KidDJ » Sat May 15, 2021 4:32 pm

sirdylan2 wrote:For years I’ve been questioning my sexuality. I am attracted to both males and females but I could only see myself romantically/sexually/life partner with a female. I am a male by the way. It also doesn’t help that most people think I’m a closeted homosexual. But either way, can anyone relate? Any advice?

There are some straight people out there that are attracted to the same sex, but not in a romantic/sexual way. Maybe you are attracted to males because you only like them and find them aesthetically attractive. As you mentioned that you're sexually/romantically attracted to ONLY females, chances are that you're straight. I could be wrong at this, butbit's up to you if you want to figure your sexuality out.
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