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Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

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Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby user497620 » Wed Feb 03, 2021 8:52 pm

Hi.
For a long time I kept feeling better. I even found a girlfriend until it all went bad and we broke up.
Lately I feel like the intrusive thoughts about my sexuality are still annoying me so much. Tonight I felt angry because the intrusive thoughts kept on annoying me and I felt upset at them.
I know that my sexuality hasn’t changed at all but these thoughts won’t leave me alone. I’m still heterosexual and attracted to women but the thoughts keep irritating me because I have no desire for them.
I just feel so upset over the thoughts. They’re not true and I know that my sexuality hasn’t changed and it won’t ever change.
That’s all I have to say.
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby user497620 » Sun Feb 07, 2021 5:39 pm

Why won’t anyone respond? Please help me
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby KidDJ » Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:52 pm

Definitely HOCD.
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby Snaga » Fri Feb 26, 2021 8:17 pm

You're going to have to see those thoughts as something separate from you- you say you know your sexuality; therefore, those thoughts need to be ignored. The more you try to fight thinking them... the more you'll think them, I think.
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby vitiker2 » Sun Mar 14, 2021 6:16 am

The last month I've been questioning my sexuality also after years of being married no we can figure this outIt's not the end of the world.Just don't overthink it.
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby KidDJ » Sat May 08, 2021 4:15 pm

vitiker2 wrote:The last month I've been questioning my sexuality also after years of being married no we can figure this outIt's not the end of the world.Just don't overthink it.

Well, we really appreciate your help, but it's not something that you should advise to other people with this kind of condition. Bad advices can take a negative effect to sufferers. Read articles of how OCD works.
There are challenges that need to be faced. You might not know what will come to you.
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Re: Intrusive Thoughts about sexuality

Postby Snaga » Sun May 09, 2021 12:32 am

KidDJ wrote:Well, we really appreciate your help, but it's not something that you should advise to other people with this kind of condition. Bad advices can take a negative effect to sufferers. Read articles of how OCD works.


What Vitiker said isn't wrong, though- it's not the end of the world- it's not the end of the world that I'm Bisexual- whether I wanted to be is neither here nor there, it's not an existential fear, as a straight person with HOCD feels as if it is. And that's something that someone has to kick out of their brain- that it would be the end of the world to actually be some other sexuality.

No, it wouldn't.

I hate it when people say a person with OCD has to accept the thoughts- I don't agree with that- I don't accept my harm thoughts as true. But you do have to defang that snake. You have to accept it wouldn't be the end of the world, and cop an attitude that you wouldn't care if you were that feared sexuality. Because deep down you know you're not.

And one of the problems with H/P/TOCD is over thinking it to death. Picking apart every thought, every action, every mannerism is just going to lead a person down a rabbit-hole.

vitiker2 wrote:The last month I've been questioning my sexuality also after years of being married no we can figure this outIt's not the end of the world.Just don't overthink it.


Something you have to understand about this forum vitiker2, rather than say, Relationships->Sexuality, or the Sexual Disorder forums, is that the sexual topics in OCD are centered around unreasonable fears of being Gay (or occasionally, fearing you're Straight); or fearing you're a pedophile; or fearing you're transgender. When there's little to no proof to back that up. These are in the form of intrusive thoughts that you are, when you aren't. For the person with OCD that takes a sexual turn, your brain is screaming at you all sorts of 'excuses' why you are, when you have no real history of even having given it any thought before- often it seems to start with an unkind or offhand comment from someone; or something seen on video. That suddenly makes a person 'what if I were that?' and cascades into a fear that can paralyze someone. And is different than honest retrospection of one's sexual history and innermost desires- I can say with certainty that I'm bisexual to a degree, and it's not something I ever felt existential dread over. Angst, surely! But not as if the world was ending. For someone with HOCD, it feels as if the world is ending. Because they're not really what they are fearing.
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Tell someone today you love them, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also confusing and terrifying.

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