by Snaga » Tue Nov 24, 2020 5:00 pm
Hello, and welcome to the forums!
I've moved this to Relationships->Sexuality, I feel that's a better fit for this. However, I did leave a link to it, in Sexual Addiction.
Because I'm not sure I'd call this, an addiction.
If we were only talking about porn, then I'd have left it there. But we're not.
I'm not going to put a label on you, but in the moment, in the past when you've been with men and trans, it's because you desired to be?
I'm bisexual, assigned male at birth. And I've chosen a heterosexual relationship. When you're.. not one, or the other, and you're not lucky enough to find some sort of 'arrangement' that is actually stable and long term, then it seems to me, you pays your money, and takes your choice, and I wanted what I have, more than anything else. But I also thought it would 'fix' my sexuality. It didn't.
If you have sexual desires for same-sex and trans, then it's been my experience, that they don't go away. No matter how much, you want them to. It's just.. something you have to deal with, in whatever way works. (My way, it to smack it with a sledgehammer and just tough thru it.) I'm afraid (and this is based on some research I've read about) that biological males are pretty much locked into our sexual orientation. From... at least (based on that research) as young as 15, although probably younger than that. The empirical evidence, is that by 15 years old, a biological male likes what he likes, and that's it, end of story. It certainly has been my story. The desires I have, in the ways and intensities, for guys and gals, and in between, have pretty much remained the same for years.
If... someone has a better answer out there, then I'm all ears.
I think a lot of confusion for guys who fantasize, and look at gay/trans porn, is separating fantasy from real life. I have plenty of freaky fantasies... but that doesn't mean I really desire them in the real world. If you can argue that your past encounters were merely experimentation, then I'd say you might be talking about a porn/fantasy addiction. But if you feel a deep-rooted desire for actual sex with other men or transgenders, then... not so much, maybe.