Our partner

Bisexuality - can anyone relate or point me to some...

Open Discussions about Sexuality and Related Issues.

Bisexuality - can anyone relate or point me to some...

Postby Anastasmarc98 » Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:56 pm

... Point me to some good reading

At the age of 22 and following much pondering on my sexuality I am pretty sure I’m bisexual (I’m a man if that matters??). I have had sex with both men and women and thoroughly enjoyed experiences on both sides.

TLDR: I feel as though my bisexuality is mutually exclusive. I can only be heterosexual or homosexual at any given time. I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced the same or similar.

Brief history: started watching straight porn around (***mod edit, age removed***), kept that up for a couple of years. Then mixed between straight and gay, then mostly gay. I then had a girlfriend for about a year at aged 17. From about 17-19 I was pretty sure I was straight and don’t recall any attraction to men.

About 19 I had a weird click in my head that made me remember the exact kick I got from my homoerotic thoughts and I started exploring that again. Since then I’ve mostly watched gay porn and had my first gay sexual experience, and had more male sexual partners than female.

There was a period where following some difficulty in maintaining an erection with a girl I was seeing, I thought I was gay and was trying to come to terms with that. I’d always been open to it as I didn’t want to waste time convincing myself I was bi if just to hold onto the past, but alas I couldn’t stop being drawn to women.

I’m now at a weird stage where I do still feel sexual attraction to men but I haven’t been with a girl in about a year. I slept with a few guys from Grindr and ended up deleting the app as it made me feel empty. I’m now talking to a girl that I’m developing feelings for but my attraction to men nags over me. Meanwhile when I do give time to my homosexual attraction I must forget about any female attraction.

So, I am now beginning to wonder if perhaps my sexual attraction to either sex is mutually exclusive. Meaning when I am attracted to women I can’t think about being attracted to men and vice versa. I feel as though my attraction to one sex forgoes the attraction to the other at any given time. Has any one else experienced this? I wonder if it is something to do with the allure of either being broken by the other existing and hence only being able to exist independently.

It would be great to get any anecdotal incite or be pointed in the direction of some interesting reading on the topic.
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2019 8:36 pm
Local time: Wed Mar 03, 2021 5:35 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


Re: Bisexuality - can anyone relate or point me to some...

Postby Zoicite23 » Fri Oct 04, 2019 5:52 am

I've not heard of that sorry.

Anyway keep up the research. Perhaps investigate if you feel subconscious shame, if any event could have led to that. The mutual exclusivity is weird, and must be hard to deal with. I'd say 'just relax and let it be', but that is a genuine concern.

Back when I was a devout Christian I had fears that I may break a guy's heart, get involved with him only to be concerned by the 'fate of my soul' and end up leaving him. Likewise you could be afraid of being with a man or a woman and then it swings the other way all of a sudden. But you are young so things should settle. All the best.
User avatar
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
Posts: 59
Joined: Sun Sep 29, 2019 9:15 pm
Local time: Wed Mar 03, 2021 3:35 pm
Blog: View Blog (10)

Re: Bisexuality - can anyone relate or point me to some...

Postby jaus tail » Sat Dec 14, 2019 6:10 pm

i'm attracted to both sexes and i think its ok. but i also have identity issues.
i've stopped watching pornography and i'm trying to practice nopmo for some time. u can google up benefits of nofap.

my ideal scenario is living in a house where there are a few male n few female partners (total not more than 4) n we're all in love with each other.

i saw a therapist who helped me. maybe therapy will help you too. like get some clarity.
User avatar
jaus tail
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 4311
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:35 am
Local time: Wed Mar 03, 2021 5:35 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Bisexuality - can anyone relate or point me to some...

Postby Snaga » Fri Feb 14, 2020 3:46 am

If it could be pulled off, without anyone getting their feelings hurt or feeling left out, I think a poly situation would be an ideal arrangement for bisexuals like us. Or maybe an open relationship with a partner who was themselves Bi. I think how cool a female bisexual partner would be, given that my preference for significant others is the opposite sex.

I'd like a Ferrari, while I'm at it, but Reality often has other ideas.

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

We do not delete posts.
Let it go.
Without (forum) rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
User avatar
Site Admin
Posts: 16679
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2014 1:58 pm
Local time: Tue Mar 02, 2021 11:35 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Return to Sexuality Forum

  • Related articles
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests