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Conflict with my mom about my sexuality

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Conflict with my mom about my sexuality

Postby Rose31 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 6:31 pm

So, I came out to my mom about half a year ago and she's the type that believes that homosexuality is a sin and is concerned about where my soul will end up due to me liking and wanting to be in a relationship with another woman. I was terrified to come out to her. A few years before all of that, I had supported the LGBT+ community by posting the LGBT themed background on my facebook profile. My mom had also been friends with me on facebook and once she saw that I had that up on my profile, she blew up. She started raising her voice at me and sounded all terrified and disgusted about it, repeatedly asking me if I was gay. Out of fear due to her negative reaction, I lied and told her no and kept reassuring her that in order for her to stop ganging up on me like that. She kept telling me that I should take that off my profile pic. Once I had, she stopped and never spoke of it again. Ever since then, I had been afraid of actually coming out to her, letting her know that I am bisexual and that this is who I am as a person. I was afraid that she would reject me or kick me out the house where I would then become homeless.

I had finally came out to my mom. I knew that I had a choice to do so, I did anyways. The main reason for doing so was because I wanted to do this for my own well-being. Holding that in felt like an intense heaviness inside of me that caused me to feel so much pain. It caused me to feel more anxious, depressed, tired, and stressed. My eating disorder also ended up getting worse where I had thought about using that as a way to end my life.

Eventually I told her and surprisingly she was calm about it. She told me that she still loved me, but she still believes that homosexuality is a sin and she told me that it's only right for me to be with a man rather than a woman because God only created Adam and Eve rather than for same-sex relations or marriages to occur.

I've got two younger sisters. One is 16 and the other is 12. The one who is 16 already knows about my sexuality and is cool about it and never thought of it as a sin. I had asked my mom if I could tell my youngest sister about my sexuality and she told me that that wouldn't be such a great idea since she's still little and wouldn't understand yet. All the while, I'm just sitting there thinking, that it doesn't matter how old the person is, it would be a good idea to tell my little sis anyways in order for her to understand. The sooner she knows about it, the better. There is no age limit in my opinion.

The thing is, I really want to tell my little sister about my sexuality because I feel like that would be the right thing to do and she deserves to know about it regardless of age. I believe it's my choice to tell her and I'd like to, but I'm also afraid of going behind my mom's back because then I'd feel guilty for doing so.

What should I do about this?
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Re: Conflict with my mom about my sexuality

Postby Snaga » Fri Jun 14, 2019 2:53 am

Hello and welcome!

Well, twelve, even when I was a kid, I was no dummy. Much less now. She'll figure it out. How do you know, she hasn't already guessed?

I am inclined to suggest you respect you mom's wishes, and not say anything- out of basic courtesy. If it's not already obvious to your youngest sister, it will become so, soon enough. I don't know it really matters, to be honest.

Tell someone you love them today, for Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, for Life is also terrifying and confusing.

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