by Snaga » Tue Aug 20, 2019 10:29 pm
A little late to this party, but maybe you just like a little gender bending.
This discussion is close to being a paraphilia discussion (which isn't allowed) but is also relevant enough to your sense of sexual orientation, that I think it's okay to discuss in those terms...
Maybe... the 'gay' thoughts feel safer, with you taking on the role/appearance of a girl. That might be your way of 'de-gaying' them a bit?
Which would be similar to the convoluted arguments I've seen, for why otherwise straight men have shemale fetishes- because the other penis has a 'woman' built around it, it makes it somehow okay. I'm a bi male, so that logic is kind of lost on me, but that's my understanding of it. This could be similar to that- you allow yourself to think the gay thoughts, by making it less 'gay', in the form of being a girl?
There's a word that's dirty in the current Trans orthodoxy, and that's autogynephilia- being aroused by the idea of being a hot girl, basically. There could be some of that going on, you find the idea of being a sexy girl arousing, and it wouldn't make you trans, in my opinion. In fact, I don't think of you as trans at all, merely a bit kinky. There are guys who love to crossdress, that are neither trans, nor 'gay'.