Hello
I'm an 19 year old guy, who needs some help. I don't really know what my sexuality is (i'm not looking for a label or something, I really don't care). But the problem is that, emotionally I fall in love with girls but physically i'm attracted to men, so I don't really get an erection for girls. Or at least not what it normally has to be. I've come to terms with myself and i'm okay with being not heterosexual, but everytime when I watch gay porn, which gets me really horny, afterwards I feel disgusted of myself and sad. It just doesn't feel right, like it isn't me. Somewhat like i'm someone else the moment i'm invested in something homosexual. I don't know why because I grew up in an environment where they aren't judgemental of being gay. I really feel depressed, I don't have a goal to work to. My dream as a kid was to start a family with my future wife and have (biological) children, but it feels like that dream is shattered. i'm scared it just won't work because of me not getting an erection (i've never done anything sexual with anyone before). It also holds me back from having a relationhip, because I don't want to ruin my girlfriend her life when I am in a relationship. So I have a couple of questions about it: is there a way to get more interested in the other sex (like conditioning yourself into it), or a way to eliminate the attraction towards, or a way to get my libido up (I don't really know it's my libido that's the problem).
Anyways thanks in advanced!