I think there is a lot of good wisdom in this post ...
just1anon wrote:As another brought up “trust”...
I think that’s the big thing here. Understandable that you weren’t ready or comfortable in telling her yet and she went ahead and started digging into old discussions... She’s got it all in her head now and may think of all sorts of scenarios. I know you’ve stated many times you haven’t cheated and don’t plan to, but maybe she’s seeing something else that’s keeping that distrust? I’m not sure how to solidify that trust with her.
Don’t want to come off as negative. But was there a big reason why she went so far back into old discussions of yours?
I can tell you that on a personal level I'd also have my guard up higher if I was to become involved with a woman who later told me she was attracted to other women. Yes, we all know the stereotype of 3-ways, etc., but I think the same thought would go through my head, am I going to be enough or is she going to want to 'scratch that itch' (to re-use terminology already written above). I haven't been in that position though, and maybe I wouldn't care either. We can only second guess ourselves so much.
For whatever it's worth some people start with a high degree of trust, some start with almost none, in the middle is the norm. Hopefully that doesn't become the only factor. Trust can be increased or decreased for most people, and unless you believe she is just unable to adjust, I am hopeful you two try to work it out.