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Man this $#%^ killing me

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Man this $#%^ killing me

Postby sirdylan2 » Mon Mar 18, 2019 11:13 pm

so,
I've felt like a straight male my whole life. Identified as one too. In my life i truly could only imagine myself with and want to be with a female. However, over the past couple years a mixture of taunting, inner questioning, and possibly attraction has me at odds with my sexuality.

I live in a house with all guys. some of them walk around with their shirt off. abs muscles all that. I cannot look any of them in the eye. I get this nervousness when i"m around them and i daresay it might be attraction. I've never had a problem with saying another man is good looking, to me that kind of stuff is subjective, but i don't want to kiss them on the lips or have sex with them.

I guess my question is why can't i look attractive men in the eyes? why do i get so hyper emotional in male friendships. Am i bi? I really would rather just be with a woman because

1.) I've never had sexual fantasy about a man in my entire life
2.) I couldn't see myself dating a man.

what do you think?
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Re: Man this $#%^ killing me

Postby Snaga » Tue Mar 19, 2019 2:58 pm

Are you given to anxiety in other things? Get unreasonable obsessive fears?

You might think about checking out the OCD forum here, a lot of people get caught up in fearing they might be gay (when they're not).

I'm Bi, and you don't sound anything but straight, to me. I'm also the OCD moderator and there's an awful lot of straight people with anxiety issues who suddenly get worried they may not be straight (and more rarely, the other way around). All I can say is my gaydar rarely goes off in that forum. I don't think anyone is 100% straight or gay, but I do think most people are so close to one or the other that the little tiny fraction of an alternate sexuality, is basically irrelevant. If you don't wanna get all touchy, and you don't even have sexual fantasies of other guys, then I think it's probably your mind playing with you, just my two cents.
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Re: Man this $#%^ killing me

Postby shock_the_monkey » Wed Mar 20, 2019 2:44 pm

the media is now so full of the LGBTQIA agenda that you'd be forgiven for wondering if anyone is actually straight. it's a form of hypnosis that is creating a generation of confused people.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Man this $#%^ killing me

Postby Snaga » Wed Mar 20, 2019 4:16 pm

While we can't stray into politics, we kinda have to a little, to understand what's going on.

I'd agree with Shock, and I'm Bi, AND feel myself somewhat GID, so I'm hardly biased against being un-straight and un-cis.

It's everywhere, these days. Beyond asking for tolerance, it's a demand almost, that it replace the norm. Well the norm is there, because most people are straight. But you wouldn't know that, sometimes, to look about you.

Tolerance is good, openness is good, but I feel the pendulum has swung too far the other way, to a sort of demanding insistence that people not be ordinary, straight, cis.... and that's not good.

To me, the current politically correct culture, and the current LGBTQI orthodoxy, is a perfect storm for people who are prone to self-introspection and worry, and anxiety, especially young adults and most especially teens. You're aware of it because it's there whenever you turn on the TV or get online, when you go to college. So then when, Heaven forbid, you have the slightest stray thought about being Not Straight, or Not Cis-, then you get a case of anxiety over it and start trying to compare yourself and every little thought, deed, and desire, to some unattainable, impossible, imaginary standard. Because....

NO one, IMO.. is 100 percent straight, or gay. It's all sex, it all can feel good, and your body will respond. But most people are mostly straight. Straight enough it shouldn't be a cause for concern, but when you start worrying about the way you act, and holding yourself under a microscope... then, well. It's like getting obsessed over a mole on your face no one else gives a thought to.

Maybe kids and young adults just kept it bottled in, when I was one of them, damn sure I never would have come Out of any closet... but it seems to me, and the anecdotal evidence I've heard bolsters it, that HOCD/TOCD is way more prevalent now- those being the popular unofficial acronyms for people with unreasonable fears of being gay or trans. And so I think it makes sense, that it's because there's so much more openness (indeed, more than that) about being gay, and it's just there all the time, as if it was more common, than it really is. How could that not affect people?

All I can tell you, is that while I don't practice it, I'm Bi, have been aware of it a long time, and you don't seem anything but straight but me. I know sometimes people suddenly come out, but I have a very hard time believing that a person could grow up totally clueless that they liked to get their freakazoid on. Not when sex is everywhere at the click of a mouse. I was very much aware of it- self denial, isn't cluelessness. It's making excuses for yourself, is what it is. It's not being ignorant- and I don't see how you get to adulthood without at some point realising that you like other things.

The only thing you've said, that interests me, is the hyper emotionalism with dudes. But that doesn't have to be sexual in nature. I mean that could be something from childhood.
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