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I started to have feelings for my brother

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I started to have feelings for my brother

Postby KatDN » Sun Feb 03, 2019 9:40 pm

I am 24. My brother is 19. I work as a waitress in a cafeteria.

Almost a month ago I invited my brother, my boyfriend, my best friend (female) and a couple (friends) to the cafeteria I was working. A group of guys started catcalling me.

My boyfriend and my friends didn’t do anything. But my brother intervened and began to threaten thrm. “I am gonna beat you up if you don’t shut your mouth and apologize to her etc.”

After several minutes of “boyish” trash talk between them, the guys finally apologized to me. I was like (wow, that’s what a real man should do to protect a girl). I was mad with my boyfriend for not doing anything so we argued the day after that incident. I decided to keep a distance from him.
But since then I can’t get my brother out of my mind. I am not sexually thinking of him or at least try not to. But i want to get his attention. I am hugging him and caressing his hair very often. 2 weeks ago i found him lying on his back and decided to give him a massage (haven't done it for like 6 years). I am preparing breakfast for him etc. Some days ago i lied to him (told him i need him to teach me Office, Access) so i could sit on his laps for a bit. At work i am thinking of him very often. At home i am spending my time in his bedroom more often than previously.

But recently i said to myself:

Just what are you trying to do? What exactly do you expect him to do? Are you out of your mind?

So i decided to keep a distance from him. I tried my best but i ... failed from day 1. While going to the living room we"ve met in the hall. I tried not to do any face expression but he touched me in the stomach and told me smiling:

- You good sis?

That was it. My heart started beating so fast i couldn't help myself. I smiled and kept talking with him about different things.

I know it isn't normal and there is no way that i am gonna try to do something incesteous with him. But how can i get rid of this feeling? I have lack of appetite, i am waking up almost every night, I am even crying sometimes for an unknown reason. I've read that these are the symptoms of depression. So i realized that i need to do something before its too late. But what?

Talk to him? (I an afraid that it's going to affect him)
Leaving home for some days/weeks? (Will it really help?)
Seek a new boyfriend?
Psychotherapy?
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Re: I started to have feelings for my brother

Postby Zoicite23 » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:37 am

Okay don't talk to him, that is something you should not do.

It won't achieve anything, you can't expect your brother to know what to do about this. Consider that he may also be sick and want to do something incestuous with you after you tell him?

Without being judgemental I want to tell you that what you've written is very disturbing, I believe that's why nobody else has replied. I was hesitant to continue reading when I was halfway through it.

The fact that you would cry for seemingly no reason may point to another issue. Perhaps something is effecting you or your personality and so you're having these strange feelings. To me the physical contact you've had with your brother is not normal or platonic. I'd say talking to a therapist would be a good idea, if nothing else it'll help you to understand yourself more.

Good luck.
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Re: I started to have feelings for my brother

Postby Aries411 » Sun Oct 06, 2019 11:40 pm

Everyone is different and I wouldn't be surprised if some people have the feelings you do with their siblings. I have heard of scenarios where people have been attracted to their sibling after being separated for many years. There is a connection that people can't explain.

With you situation, it seems like there are some key virtues you seek in a bf and you may not see it in your current bf, but your brother. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of how they feel. They are YOUR feelings and you have a right to feel them. Of course, it poses the moral dilemma that most of us will not cross, so if you are trying to seek a healthier relationship, perhaps you will need to find a bf that has the same virtue and ideals like your brother. I think over time, it your feelings begin to dissipate. I think its kinda like you having a crush on someone for a long time, but after you are with someone that you connect with, you crush kinda fades away...

I do agree with Zoicite that you shouldn't talk to him about it... it can open a door you may never be able to close..
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