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Am I gay?

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Am I gay?

Postby Johnny94 » Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:49 pm

Hi its nice to be here i have just registered today :wink:

I am a 42 year old man. Been married and now divorced. The wife and i had children together. They're all grown up and I work long hours and I'm currently single. I have now lived on my own for about 4 years. I am happy.

Ok here goes lol...

I have always considered myself heterosexual and never had any sexual interest in men. In fact, and i mean no offensive to gay men, I find the idea ridiculous for me personally.

However, in recent years whenever I have class A drugs, or sometimes if im stoned enough I watch porn films on the internet. After a few years I found I was looking at the male actors bodies especially I'm looking at the male actors and their muscles, and getting excited by it. But it's a bizarre sexual feeling. Not like the one I am used to for women I find attractive. It's very intense in the stomach and groin area. I've been trying to come up with what it may be. And i dont at all consider myself gay. A theory I had was that the intense feelings i get are me experiencing the excitement of the sex for the female in the porn film - her perspective of the sex. If I watch a Gang Bang/orgy/multiple men having sex with just one woman, which i often tend to search for when im high enough, I get excited for her because she is being over powered and experience high amounts of pleasure. But then that leads me to wonder whether or not I have a fetish for being surrounded by naked muscle men.

Anyway it's quite confusing because there's not a chance on a million years I would have sex with a man, the thought repulses me. The only time i seem look at them is when wondering how overwhelmed and good the woman feels having sex with them all

So after all these years I'm biting the bullet and reaching out.

Thank you xx
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Re: Am I gay?

Postby Snaga » Wed Oct 03, 2018 1:44 am

Hello and welcome! I've moved your topic to the Sexuality forum, as that's a better fit than your original destination.

Have you tried looking at some muscle bear gay porn, just for giggles? Without worrying about being straight or gay, just watching it and seeing if it elicits the same sensations you feel watching the ones you mention.
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Re: Am I gay?

Postby Johnny94 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 2:09 am

Hi very nice to meet you thanks.

I totally forgot to mention in my OP that I have actually tried watching gay porn on a few occasions to see if I liked it. I actually hated it as it didn't do anything for me at all. In fact, I even found it uncomfortable to watch. I no longer found the actors appealing or what they were doing of any interest. I'm pretty certain a woman has to be involved and enjoying it before I enjoy it. Like I said the focus is on her experience. I watch the men with her. I also enjoy the noises she makes when having orgasms and yet I cringe like mad when the guys make any noises haha.
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Re: Am I gay?

Postby Snaga » Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:26 pm

Don't sound very gay to me, then, and I'm very bisexual (male). Sounds as if it's what you speculate, to me. Just projecting yourself into the role of the girl- which I've heard of before in straight, binary, non-trans contexts. I don't think it sounds as if you have much to worry about.
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Re: Am I gay?

Postby naps » Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:55 pm

Johnny94 wrote:If I watch a Gang Bang/orgy/multiple men having sex with just one woman, which i often tend to search for when im high enough, I get excited for her because she is being over powered and experience high amounts of pleasure. But then that leads me to wonder whether or not I have a fetish for being surrounded by naked muscle men.


Maybe it's the domination that turns you on. Do you ever get off on being submissive? What does the thought of being dominated by a woman do for you? Try watching some straight B&D porn.
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Re: Am I gay?

Postby RottenFish » Sun Oct 28, 2018 4:02 pm

Experimenting with other men will help you realize your true desires. One of my close friends has never been with a man, but he was willing to have sex with me. He was also previously married to a woman.

He and I had sex several times a week for 4 years. It was wonderful.

He is now married again to a woman, and I've been with my dude for 6 years now.

He told me I am the only man he will ever be interested in sexually. That is because I am the only man who touched his heart.
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