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Does this make me bi?

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Does this make me bi?

Postby Alice_ » Wed May 30, 2018 1:03 pm

So here's the thing. I've known I was a lesbian ever since I was 14 and started having fantasies about girls, noticing that guys weren't really my thing. I've always been pretty open about it and it's never really been an issue. I've dated a couple of girls and then got into a serious relationship with the girl I'm still with (I'm now 26, we've been together 5 years). I am a very sexual person and have a high libido, so I've always masturbated a lot and have had all sorts of fantasies about many different women.
So here's the catch: I've always liked reading fan fiction on the internet, almost exclusively male/male, just because I feel like I identify more with the characters, but in the last couple of years I started reading erotic fan fiction as well (still only male/male) and realized it really turned me on. At first I was really freaked out about it because I had never really experienced sexual attraction to men, so the idea of getting off by reading about men having sex with each other was really weird to me, also because when I got over my initial reluctance and started masturbating to it, I quickly realized those were the best orgasms I had ever had (not just masturbating, I mean at all). I sort of accepted that concept without having to "rethink" my sexuality, mostly because I tried watching gay porn and it didn't really do much for me (translated: seeing dicks was a turn-off).
Lately though I've had a celebrity male crush that I first didn't think much of (it wasn't the first one), but now I've started masturbating about it and it's really freaking me out (it's being going on for about six months and I have almost exclusively only been masturbating to him). I should also say that I've had a couple of guy crushes in the past (one of which was somebody I knew) and they have always been on guys that either are gay or I perceive as such. Also, the erotic fan fiction I read is always about the same few people, it doesn't "work" with just about anyone. If a guy who's generally perceived as hot were to hit on me I would not sleep with him (also cause I'm in a monogamous relationship, but that's not what I mean) but if this crush I have did, I think I'd go for it, which I have never thought I'd do before (once again, we're talking in theory because relationship, and also it would never happen anyway because we're talking about a famous guy).
Is this a thing? Can I be a lesbian and be attracted to a very small number of gay-ish guys? Also I should point out that by "gay" I don't mean "effeminate", they could be different kinds of body types and masculinity/femininity.
I'm sorry this was so long but I tried to give as many elements as possible in order to be clear. I would really appreciate any kind of input you may have.
Thank you.
Alice_
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