I can only get sexually aroused if it's casual sex only.

I have this problem with my girlfriend where I have trouble getting sexually aroused by her, even though I am in love with her. I had this problem with a gf I was in love with in the past as well. But when I am single and having casual sex or a meaningless fling, I can get aroused then.

I feel really bad and I feel like it's impacting my current relationship. Does anyone know what I can do about this? I was told by others that it sounds like I am not sexually attracted to her and I should just do her a favor and just break up. But I am in love with her and she said she loves me back, so I am not sure that breaking up is the best option when everything else seems to be going great accept for this one problem. Or does it sound like I am not sexually attracted to her? I feel that I am though because even though I have trouble getting an erection with her, I still really like making out with and cuddling with her in bed and spending the night though.

So does that mean that I am sexually attracted to her or no?

I wonder if it's some sort of anxiety-related problem? I can attest to psychologically-caused ED being a pernicious bastard...

Well I feel my problem is, I need to lust after a woman in order to be aroused by her. But when you are in love with someone, there is no lust because it's love, not lust. So how do you get aroused with someone you do not have lust for, because you are in love, if that makes sense?

While I can attest that mere carnal lust can fade with time, I've never entertained the idea the two were so disconnected from each other. What time frame is this? Are you saying that once you fall in love, sexual desire quickly fades?

No I am saying how do you know if the sexual desire is there in the first place before having sex and seeing how the person is in bed, if that makes sense?

-- Wed Oct 06, 2021 12:54 am --

No I am saying how do you know if the sexual desire is there in the first place before having sex and seeing how the person is in bed, if that makes sense?

I had sex with my partner on the second date, so I can't answer that....