Severe relationship problems.

I have had many dysfunctional relationships. Actually, as a young girl I simply did sexual things with practically anyone who asked me nomatter what I actually thought of them. This also escalated in to doing something illegal that I might not mention for legal reasons with the person I lost my virginity with. I had no feelings for him and he persuaded me against my will to break the law in a very bad way. I was a criminal for 5 years.

I have had up to 10 dysfunctional sexual relationships with people I had absolutely no feelings for. Though I have never had a proper mutual relationship in my entire existance. I feel extremely upset about it. Now I am not thinking that I need a relationship, though the problems I have experienced have made me feel quite awful.

Do you feel the sex is making up, for something missing?

I think it was due to some dysfunctional thing. I did not actually have sex etc. for enjoyment.

For the contact, the affection? I know sex is often putting the cart, before the horse- all to easy to do, these days.

I think I did it due to wanting someone to talk to more than for physical intimacy.

Sex is a nice part of a relationship, but using it as the primary component... yeah not good. Sex, like all things human, will fade with time, and then there needs to be something else, to keep people together.

To have a bright future you must let go of the past. Try hanging out in places where you are more likely to meet people who make you feel good, maybe find a boyfriend that you really like. Maybe a library, or an activity like learning an instrument.